Hold It

Sometimes we simply rush in

Assuming things that never happened

Making quick decisions

When emotions run amok

Learn to hold it

Give time some time

Give people some time

For the truth to be revealed

When angry, best to keep quiet

When irritated, go far away

Shift focus into something else

Remember the good times

Learn to be patient

Hold words before speaking

Give a break to our thoughts

Hey, it might not be what you think it is!

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

01.11.2019

 

Source of Image : iStock

When people tell me I should be positive…

Do people tell you this? Well, sometimes people around me tell me this. And I get irritated when I hear that. The reason for this is sometimes I don’t even know why I’m getting irritated or angry or sad. I tend to mumble to release the stress I am facing or simply lash out on someone closest to me. I try to think what could be the reason for this. Overwhelming work which has to be done in short span of time. Not getting response on time. Repetition. Laziness. Phone addiction. Not knowing if I’m making the right decision or bad decision. Fear of the unknown. Lack of trust. And the list can go on.

I do believe in positive thinking. I do try to think positive. Sometimes I share positive stuff so that it can also help other people. But is it possible to be positive all the time? It is not possible. There are times I just feel like screaming at someone and release all the emotions building in my heart. Like now, I decided to write it out in order to divert my mind from thinking too much.

I think it is okay to cry if you are not feeling okay. It is okay if you share your feelings to someone closest to you whom you trust. Whether you are a man or woman, we all need to share our burdens to someone. It is okay to show to people that you are not happy. It is okay to have some alone time. It is okay to feeling down. It is okay to feel heavy.

Being negative all the time is a definitely NO-NO! All the time crying, depressed, talking negative about everything and everyone. If this is the case, then you definitely need to counsel professional to get help. There are news where people who looked happy and seems to have everything in life ended up committing suicide for whatever reason they have. Depression is real. It is affecting more people than it is shown statistically.

Find a way to help yourself. For myself, writing is healing. Gardening is healing. Listening to music is healing. Going to nature is healing. Avoiding social media and mobile phone is healing. Meditation is healing. Exercising is healing. Heart to heart conversation with a closest friend is healing. Wrong way to help yourself is by getting addicted to drugs, smoking, sleeping around with multiple partners, gambling and any other activity that could cause you a fortune.

Being negative is just a reminder that it is time to work myself internally and go within. To find the root cause what is it making me unhappy.

Day 2 – The Process of Healing

Today I definitely felt better than yesterday. Maybe it is because I slept with a hope that today will be a good day. It was a relaxing day at work. Everybody seems to be happily working. I gave full attention to my work and went out for an appointment.

The dreaded part of the day is when I’m back home. Because I seemed to be a little free when I’m at home. To avoid thinking, I basically wasted almost an hour in Insta and then I thought I must start to write. I did just that and actually feel a little better. To make myself more occupied, I decided to re-open Facebook account only for the purpose of promoting this blog. I hope to write better. I hope to occupy my time doing something beneficial. Tomorrow will be even better than today. 🙂

The mind

Our mind is like a little kid

Wanting to explore

Curious to know

Tempted to try

Stubborn when refused

 

In order to control our little kid

We must give toy to play

We must give the attention it seeks

We must give some task to do

Otherwise it starts to scream

 

Take care of our little mind

Like our own baby

Feed it with love and care

Teach it with knowledge and wisdom

So it grow up healthy and happy

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

28.05.2019

Day 1 – The Process of Healing

I woke up this morning. Eyes still closed. My mind was browsing past memories. How did all these happened? I felt pain in my heart. Time is ticking. I couldn’t wake up. Felt like no energy to go to work.

My second alarm goes off. I forced myself to get up and bathed. Got ready and by 7.30am, I’m ready to leave my house. I did not turn on any songs today nor listen to some motivational talks. Quietly I drove trying to empty my mind. At work, I tried to give full concentration even though I was feeling a little sleepy.

Things was fine. I was caught up with work. Calls coming in, talking to colleagues, moving around from office to office. I told myself I have to keep myself busy. I started to feel more pressure when I’m back home. I ate. I watched my parent’s favourite Tamil drama on TV. Trying to divert my mind. Then I started to look at my phone. I reread my last text messages. I kinda cursed him. For what he had done to me. I thought to myself “how can he do this to me? Knowing my character so well.” Sigh.

I thought to myself maybe I can convince him to change. Maybe he is good at his heart. Maybe situation changed him. Maybe he has hormone problems. Maybe there is a way to change all these. I took my phone, wanting to text him badly. Then I paused.

“You can only change if you yourself wish to change. Others cannot change you. It has to come from within.” I will be wasting my time. I am taking more risk if I go back to this person. Because he is sick in his mind. He is unable to control his senses. “Don’t take a risk, Puspha!” I thought to myself.

I felt that I have to keep my time occupied. With something beneficial. I do not want to go back to this person. I am actually scared after knowing the type of person I had been spending my time with. “Psycho”. I thought that this guy can actually be a psycho. A smart psycho. With brain. He is very calm most of the time. It’s like he plans it well.

Some of the story that he told me I felt that he actually twisted it. To show him as a good person and the other one as bad. I thought if I can just meet one person in his story and find out the truth, then I will know for sure. But then what is the point. There is no law that states one can be punished for cheating a person by faking love. There is no punishment for emotional damage. There is nothing much I can do. I have to forget him. I have to break the habit of needing to text him. I have to be strong. I have to be strong.