Dream Big

I am a dreamer

I dream for good life

I dream for good food

I dream for good family

I dream for good health

 

I am a dreamer

I dream to live rich

I dream to travel the world

I dream to live in mansion

I dream to drive Benz

 

I am a dreamer

I dream to be successful

I dream to bring positivity

I dream to be featured

I dream to be known

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

26.05.2019

Trust

I believed you will protect me

I believed you will love me

I believed you will care about me

I believed every word you say

And you just crushed my belief

 

I believed you will come

I believed you were really busy

I believed your story

I believed everything you say

And you just proved me wrong

 

I believed you are a good person

I believed you have good heart

I believed you are from good family

I believed you will be good husband

And you just destroyed my heart

 

I believed I was going insane

I believed I was at fault

I believed something is wrong with me

I believed I have to change

And my trust slowly gone

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

26.05.2019

The type of person I would love to date

I know Law of Attraction is very powerful. I will get what I think. Well, I have put out some thoughts into the universe and I guess the universe has been responding to me in some manners. The universe has been showing me some type of men for me to select. From tall and handsome man; short and fair man; dark and ugly man; single men; married man to old men. Unfortunately, I am still unable to manifest my perfect true lover. I think the reason for this is I’m unable to focus my thoughts into one direction that is I want to be married and settle down and have a fantastic married life.

For some weird reasons, I have fear that I might be making huge mistake by marrying a wrong person. That I don’t know if this is the right person that I should be pursuing my relationship with or marry and spend the rest of the life with. I always have this confusion in my head. Should I be married or be single for life? I am terrified to live alone because there are bad men out there. I am also terrified to be married to bad man just like my ex whom I found out is a weirdo who thinks only about group sex.

Now how do I manifest the right person into my life? When I keep having this fear in my heart that I’m choosing the wrong one? I know writing is a powerful tool to manifest your desire. So I’m going to list down the character of my perfect partner and wish to manifest this person into my life.

1. Loving and caring towards family

The best person I can quote in this is none other than Barack Obama, the former President of United States. I just love how he treats his wife and children. The kind of affection he shows. Goshh…I would love to date and marry someone who have such character.

2. A true gentleman

I would love someone who knows how to be gentleman like helping to carry stuff for your wife or girlfriend. Someone who will hold the door open for me. Someone who knows to treat me like a queen. Who doesn’t love to be pampered, right?

3. Loyal and monogamous

I definitely prefer a guy who is loyal to me, who don’t flirt with other girls behind my back. Who wants me to be loyal to him alone. He should not even have a thought of sharing me with another person.

4. Wealthy

I wish to be dating a man who knows how to earn for the family in a good way of course. Who is able to provide for the family. I don’t want to be worrying about a place to stay, to eat, etc.

5. Nature loving person

I wish I have someone with whom I can go and explore nature. Go on long vacation and discover places around the world.

6. Honest

Honesty is very important to me. Never ever lie to me.

7. Able to spend time with me

What is the point of being in relationship or marriage if your partner don’t have time for you? Who don’t bring you out? Who always working non-stop and find excuses? Goshh please keep these kind of men out of my radar. I believe life is about balance. What is the point of working too much but don’t enjoy yourself?

8. A spiritual person

I want someone who choose to be close to God. Who imbibes good virtues and avoid bad stuff. I know everyone have their own weakness but don’t let your weakness to overpower you. I want someone who chooses to fight against their own evil desires.

So these are character of a person that I wish to manifest into my life. I am putting out this order into the catalogue of the universe and I definitely know the universe will bring this person to me. I will share a picture with my partner once my desire is manifested. If you are reading my blog, thank you for your time and please pray for me that I get a good person as my partner. 🙂

 

Source of Image : Google

Is it better to marry or not to marry?

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I have been asking this question to myself so many times. Is it better to marry or not to marry? There are pros and cons whether you marry or you don’t marry. But which is better? The pressure is real. Everybody around me is getting married and having babies. Whether they are younger than me or older, everybody seems to have their life sorted out. But is that the kind of life that I want for myself? I ask myself. Hmmm…tough to answer.

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At one side, I have relatives asking me so when is your big day? You are getting older. In office, I can’t let anyone know that I’m single, otherwise my colleagues are ready to pair me up with almost anybody who don’t have a wife! It is so difficult to shut their mouth. Luckily my parents are not forcing me. Pheewww…

Some tell me that I have very high expectation. Wanting to have a partner who is loyal, who can spend time with me, who is able to give attention to me are considered as high expectation. Are you telling me that if I marry, I cannot expect these things? Then why do I marry? I’m not allowed to ask too many questions. But I think I’m asking a valid question. It seems I’m not supposed to ask too many questions. People tell me that I’m demanding and no man can live up to my expectation. That I’m not perfect. I shouldn’t be looking for perfect man. I should just follow what people say and agree to everything. Then, I will find a man. This is what I have been told.

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But I don’t agree to it. My heart just don’t agree. I don’t like to do things half heartedly. I don’t like to do things just because everybody else is doing it. Am I supposed to just marry without any attraction towards a man? Am I supposed to marry a man who doesn’t know how to communicate with me? Who is not able to open up or just shallow?

Some tell me it is better for me to get arrange marriage. For an arrange marriage, the main thing they are looking at is how you look? Are you thin? Are you fair or dark? Are you pretty? Are you short or tall? Are you educated? What kind of job are you doing? There is no effort into trying to get to know the person. I find that it is too shallow. I get angry when I look at this process of arrange marriage. I have no idea how these people can go through this process of keep getting rejected due to one or more silly reasons until they find someone who is able to accept them. But seriously I don’t have this strength to go this process of rejection. It sucks.

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If arrange marriage doesn’t work for me, then I should go for love marriage. But I’m very different from others. I grow up thinking there is only one man for one woman. I fall in love once, I marry once and stick to that one person till I die. This is how I thought marriage should be. I have fallen in love once. But this love is unrequited. The man that I have fallen in love with doesn’t want to get married. I have tried to change my mind to just forget this man and move on but unfortunately, I have failed to do so. I just don’t know how people can just change boyfriend or girlfriend like they change clothes. If only I’m able to do that, I wouldn’t even be writing this post.

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If I choose not to be married for life, I will have full freedom on my life. I will be fully responsible on what happens with my life. Time, energy and money will be fully spent on improving my life. I don’t have to deal with cheating husband, going through labour pain to give birth, protecting the kids from all kind of existing threats, saving lots of expenses from bringing up kids, etc. The only setbacks from this is I might be feeling lonely. But being married doesn’t ensure that I won’t be feeling lonely. If married to the wrong person, I might ended up feeling lonely. If there is a lack of emotional, spiritual or physical bonding, one might still feel lonely even if surrounded by people.

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But if I’m married, I may have someone with me till the end of my life. I might have kids and have a small family. If I’m married and don’t have kids, I will be pressured by society. If I’m married and my husband cheats, my marriage life is gone. I have to fork out a lot of money to make sure my kids go to the best schools and college. I have to constantly worry that my kids are safe wherever they are and not harmed by anyone. There is no guarantee that I will live happily with my husband until the end of my life. There is no guarantee that my kids will be taking care of me when I’m old.

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People say that this is part and parcel of life. Everybody go through that. The constant quarreling and lack of respect among husband and wife and disrespectful kids are something that all of us have to tolerate in order to live together under one roof.  If I’m lucky enough to find a good husband, all of the above may not happen. I might be actually living a fulfilled married life. What is the percentage like? 1/100?

Ok…ok…I understand. Let me be optimistic about marriage life. That I will find a good husband. That I will have good children who don’t give me headache. They are safe from all kind of danger. That I will have a good life. Then where is the person? Where is the guy that I’m supposed to be married to? Which part of the world is he in? Will I ever meet him? Will I ever recognize him? Only time will reveal.

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But after a deep thought, I think it is better not to marry just for the sake of it. Marriage is a life commitment. It involves law to unite two souls and also to separate them. It is a huge process. You spend thousands to get married. I do not want to pressure myself into marriage just because everybody around me is married. I would rather remain unmarried than married to the wrong person.

Source of image : Google Images