“Molle, it’s Thursday! Sweep and mop the house”
“Hang the clothes.”
“Fold the clothes.”
The list of the house work goes on.
We are the siblings of three. Two daughters and one son. Growing up, I noticed that when it comes to cleaning house, it is the daughters’ job. I have been told that it is the ladies who does it. And I rebelled. I purposely didn’t want to do the housework. Because I felt that it was not fair. Why is it my brother don’t have to do the housework like I do? They don’t even tell him to do. So I was labelled the lazy one. Probably I am. Still lazy. But I still do housework. I still sweep, mop, wash, hang clothes, wash bathroom, etc. I do it when my mum is not around. I do it when I want to do it. When nobody else is around to do it, then I do it. I’m probably should be in a position to hire someone to do it for me. That time will come. Let’s summon the universe to help me with the cleaning job. 😀 Soon ok.
But I keep seeing and hearing stories from social media about how a woman still has to come back home to attend to the kids, do housework, and the husband still complains. Worst case the husband has the audacity to look for another woman who is younger and prettier because the wife is not taking care of herself. How can she look after herself when all she does is taking care of kids and cleaning house with no time for herself. Not forgetting that she has a career to look after too. I’m not going to touch the subject of men who controls the wife and not allowing her to dress up well because he is afraid of other men looking at her. But it is okay if he looks at other married or unmarried woman. Well, the logic….
Those days women were not working. They did not study. They did not earn. All they were doing sitting at home, cleaning house, attend to the husband’s need and kids. Now the time has changed. Women fought hard to reach to this level. There are still a lot of women who is fighting for basic need of education. Women nowadays are educated and I’m glad to be one of them. Because education helps us to think and come out from modern slavery. We are earning. We bring something to feed the family. But the job role remains the same. The housework has to be done by the women, not the men. Isn’t it ridiculous? Now the women have more burden on their shoulder.
Women love to take care of their loved one. Caring and nurturing is a quality that women naturally possess. But is it okay to take advantage of this quality and treating them like a slave? When a woman cooks and feeds the family, it is done out of love. When a woman cleans and turns a house into a home, it is done out of love. When a woman takes care when the family member is sick, it is done out of love. What a woman needs is only for the men to notice and reduce her burden. She doesn’t expect the men to be doing the housework as equal to her. Probably just help her a little here and there. If she cooks, wash the utensils. If she sweeps and mops, then wash the washroom. Once in a while, help her to hang clothes and fold it. You don’t have to do it everyday. If at all, you cant do any of it, then the least you can do is APPRECIATE! “Thank you honey for doing this! You are doing a great job!” That’s it! Those words are going to work like magic on a woman. If the men in your life are already doing this, please appreciate your men too. “Thank you for helping me out! I really appreciate it!”
Recently I saw a tik tok video where a man was roasting other men who expects woman to know how to cook but they themselves doesn’t even know how to boil egg. Are men getting married only to ensure their needs are taken care of? Somebody to make sure their clothes are ready, their food and house are taken care of. Disclaimer here : Not all men are like this. There are men who cooks so well. All the famous chef are all men. And there are works that women don’t really do. All the plumbing work, repairing work, etc. Of course, she can do it too if she learns it. But if a woman starts to do all these by herself, then why does she need a man? She has to work, earn money, clean house, take care of kids, drives the car, and also have to do all the hard plumbing work herself. Woman need a man to protect her and keep her safe.
I used to think that I will also do the same thing. If I’m married. Take care of the house. Take care of the family. You know what a wife will do just like in movies. But this is slowly changing when I see how the men are treating their wives. They take it easy. They take their wife for granted. My mum was a working mom and she used to prepare breakfast and lunch everyday. Occasionally my father cooks. He is the only one in the house who will throw out trash. At least he is doing his part. When things need fixing in the house, he does it.
If there is any men who is reading this post, probably it is time for you to open your eyes and look at what the women in your life is doing for you. Probably you are thinking you are earning and supporting your family. If you are the only one who is earning while taking care of your family, while making sure your wife has extra money to take care of her personal needs and of course the kids, then you have all the right to ask if she does not do this for you. I think we would be very happy to do everything and care for the husband like a king. The secret is when your wife is happy, you will be happy. If she is not happy, then this is a recipe for disaster. But if you are not able to fully support her and the family, and she is working and supporting you to take care of the family needs, then yes, you have to support her when it comes to cleaning and taking care of kids. Because she is not a slave! Just put yourself in her shoes. It is exhausting. Sometimes you have reverse your role to understand what she is going through. Try to switch and do her role for a day. You will never want to be a woman, I tell you!
Now coming to the BIG QUESTION : Why does this happen? Why does a man treat a woman like this? It is because of another woman. I see how my mother and grandmother made it a point that the cleaning is a women’s job. Of course, they never able to make me do it because I rebel the system. I rebel because I find it unfair. If my mother made it a point, “now all three of you have to do housework and take turn to clean house, etc” then I probably would have accepted and do it happily. Because everyone has to do it. Balance checked!
So what can we do to set things right? Teach your kids from young. Teach both boys and girls to do house work. It is actually survival skill. If one day, for whatever reason the parents are no longer with them, they will know how to take care of themselves. Teach them to respect the opposite gender. Teach them equally.