When it comes to relationship, what we want is long lasting and love filled relationship. We hope to find a relationship that will last forever. However there are certain criteria needed in order for the relationship to last long. I believe number one criteria will be finding someone who is into your soul rather than purely physical attraction. I believe the following criterias are very important to ensure your marriage life or partnership does have a happy ending.
1. Your partner have seen you without make up and still finds you adorable
In the initial stage of a relationship, no doubt physical attraction do play some special role. Having a healthy hair, flawless skin, perfect body shape, etc. But all these will fade in time. You will get older. Your hair will fall. Some will experience hair loss and may go bald. Your tummy going to show up. Your breast going to sag. You are not going to be always young and beautiful. We might cover some defects on our face with make up. But night will come soon and the make up has to be removed. Your bare naked face has to be shown. Does your partner accepts you with how you look without your make up? Does he starts to criticize you based on how you look? Does he says that you are looking ugly and puts you down? Well, if your partner constantly says something negative about you, then this is not an indication of a good partner. This relationship is more on physical rather than soul based. Soul based relationship will be more of who you are and what you bring to the table like kindness, patience, and love.
2. You can be your real self without hiding your weaknesses
Who don’t have weaknesses? Everybody has weaknesses. It is our duty to improve ourselves if we are lacking in certain area. But we wouldn’t be able to achieve perfection. You are messy person by nature but your partner is neat and tidy. You don’t have to act like you are tidy when you are not. You can try to improve and be less messier. Maybe you can keep certain area in the house where things can be messy and certain area has to be tidy. Both able to accept each other and adapt accordingly. Perhaps you are hot tempered by nature. You still get angry but you find a way to reduce friction by going out every time things go out of control. You are showing your weaknesses but you are trying to improve yourself. What happens if you are just faking it? One day the truth will be revealed and your partner going to be disappointed finding your real self. Hiding your weaknesses from your partner doesn’t give your partner an opportunity to do correct evaluation whether they can accept you wholeheartedly with your weaknesses. Some people can accept you being messy, some cannot. If they cannot accept you messy, then you have to change. If both cannot change and accept, then the relationship will be going through constant turmoil.
3. You can talk and finish off any arguments in a healthy way
Arguments are necessary in a relationship. Otherwise life will be boring. Both partners should be able to open up and express their point of view. Both should be able to understand each other and reach a solution best for both. Sometimes one has to give up something and sacrifice for their partner. Sometimes you may not be able to find a solution for it. Sometimes one of you have to sacrifice for the sake of the relationship and your family. But it has to be balanced. If only one partner has to sacrifice all the time, he or she will start to become bitter and resentful. If both partners continuously argue with no solution, then this shows lack of compatibility hence the relationship will not survive long term due to unhappiness.
4. Both of you are into spiritual or religious path where God becomes your guidance
We humans have certain limitation. It is said God is unlimited. If we want to give love to another person, first we must be filled with love. This love can be obtained by seeking God and following certain principles in life. When we grief, we look for God to help us reduce our burden. All religions teach us to be loving and peaceful. By following the spiritual or religious path that is suitable for both of you, when life goes hard, you both can fall back to God and seek for protection and clarification. Without God interference, you might be depending on each other too much and ended up sucking up each other’s positive energy.
5. Your partner takes care of you when you are ill
Sometimes tragedy happens in our life. Sometimes we fall ill. We look for partner not only to ensure our generation continues but also to ensure we have someone to take care of us when we are not capable to move physically all by ourselves. If something happen to our partner, we should also be ready to take care of them, not leave them halfway. If relationship is based on purely physical, we are doomed if we lose our physical body to disease or accidents.
6. Another woman or man cannot influence you to break up with each other
One of the reason why divorce happens is due to infidelity. The world is going towards materialism and forgetting true religion and spirituality. When one sees a man with material possession and influence in a society, they want to influence the man to accept themselves into their life. They would also want to enjoy the benefits of luxury life. For this, some don’t even mind if the man is married and have own family. In some cases, the man openly admits he has family and the woman accepts. In such circumstances, the family will break. Because the man’s attention now is diverted and he slowly forgets his responsibility towards his wife and children. If the man is not into physical relationship only, the man will not accepts this woman into his life. The man who is into soul connection love will not easily fall to this kind of trap. The same goes to a woman. A woman has to raise good children. If the woman is involved in adultery, how could she bring up good children?
7. Your partner encourage you to do the things that you like or enjoy
Every one wants to be happy and peaceful. We will feel happy doing things that makes us happy. Some likes drawing, some likes dancing, some loves gardening, etc. Why would a partner wants to see us unhappy? Such partner is definitely not suitable. As long as we want to do something that doesn’t breach any law and not harmful, our partner should be able to allow us to do what we want to do. For example, acting. Most heroines will stop acting once they got married because their partner doesn’t like them acting too close with opposite gender. Or probably scared the wife will be more successful than the husband in that career. Ego will be hurt. To avoid all these, make an agreement for the wife not to continue acting after marriage. Imagine a life not following own passion and not living up to full potential.
8. Your partner goes through bad time together with you
Why do you need a partner who don’t share ups and downs of marriage life? Sometimes economy is hit with a crisis. Maybe one of you or both might be facing retrenchment. When you have a partner who loves your soul, he or she will definitely will stick together and help you to come out of the bad situation. If it is based on physical, maybe they will leave you because now you no longer can take care of them financially, to buy branded clothes or going to expensive restaurants.
9. You can trust your partner
Trust is an important aspect in all relationships. I won’t say that trust can be given freely for 100% especially in the initial phase because trust has to be built based on past experiences. Did your partner do what they said will do? Did you ever get cheated by your partner? Your gut feelings can trust your partner? Did they ever let you down? Do they repeat the same offense again and again? Can you trust them with opposite gender at work and circle of friends? A person who is into soul connection and are truly in love will try their best to ensure that they don’t break their partner’s trust. Because once trust is no longer in the relationship, the foundation has become weak and we are just waiting for time to break the marriage or partnership. Once trust is broken, it is not easy to build it back.
10. Both are giving and receiving in the relationship
Nobody loves if they have to continue to give but don’t receive anything back in return. All relationship are made with the expectation of getting something in return. If one keeps giving without receiving, they will feel depleted and may feel unhappy in the long term of a relationship. One of the important key in keeping a long lasting relationship is by giving and take from each other. If one goes out to work, the other one takes care of home. If one takes care of cleaning, the other takes care of repairing. If one is away from home for work, the other takes care of kids at home. If one person has to do everything and the other doesn’t do anything, what is point of being in relationship? You will only build resentment.
As a conclusion, I believe the above criterias are needed in order for the relationship to last long and also to find out if someone is into your soul or just attracted to your body. If you can find someone with this criteria, consider yourself lucky. This criteria applies to both partner. If you are lacking in any of the mentioned criteria, try to improve yourself. A relationship requires cooperation and understanding from both partners. You can’t expect your partners to do all the above but you are not.