In Malaysia, we are currently under third phase of controlling the outbreak of Corona Virus. The first phase started from March 18 until March 31. The second phase started from April 1 until April 14. From April 15 until April 28 will be the third phase. I have been sitting at home for most of the time during this Movement Control Order (MCO) by our government. Once a week, I have been scheduled to work. The only time I was allowed to travel (of course with official letter from my employer). The other time, I limit myself from going out except to buy groceries.

My father is a type who don’t like to waste food. He doesn’t like buying and keeping stock at home. But I definitely do not want to starve in case we are not allowed to go out completely, so I do buy extra food and keep at home. Food that can last like flour, food in tin, noodles, etc. To avoid going out often, I will try to buy as much as possible that can last one whole week. There are news circulating that indicates total lockdown maybe on the way if Malaysians continue to go out and the cases are still high in numbers. The longer we are at home, the higher chances for us to lose our job. The economy will be badly affected. There are a lot of common people who don’t understand this doesn’t matter whether they are schoolkids, adults or senior citizen. Some declared they are ready to die but fail to understand they are infecting others and killing others too indirectly.

There are days I’m completely lazy, there are days I’m more productive. But it doesn’t feel the same like before. The energy level definitely dropped. Uncertainty, fear and negativity all comes together to attack my sanity. There are days I’m hopeful that things will be better once this pandemic is over.

Some of us might be going through hardship at the moment. Maybe unable to get food to eat. Maybe already sick but unable to get proper treatment. Single parent finding ways to feed the kids. Single ones might be feeling lonely. Husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend might be missing each other so much but unable to meet each other. Maybe parents unable to meet their kids. Some of us might have lost our family, friends or colleagues. Some of us might be stranded alone somewhere in the country. Unable to go home. Now Raya is coming. Even Bazar Ramadhan will not be opened to public. Probably delivery will be done instead of walk in.

This is a bad time but during bad time, we will be tested. We saw how the health ministry is handling this pandemic. We saw how the government is helping Malaysians to cope up with unpaid salary or job lost. The banks have deferred payment up to 6 months so that we can survive. So many NGOs, common people are coming out to help the needy. Not forgetting some are taking advantage at this time too. Some are delivering drugs under Grab delivery service. More scammers trying to cheat people. There are cases of burglary as some has left house for long time. But police are doing their work fast. We get updated news that the violators are getting arrested quite fast after they have been reported to the police.

For me, I keep my sanity by talking with my mum and siblings who are far away. Most of my time spent online in FB, Insta and Youtube. Plus the government has allocated 1 GB of free internet everyday from 8am to 6pm. Not much, but it definitely helps me to save my data as I’m always online now trying to keep myself occupied. Watching some good movies online. There are a lot of links given freely in FB. There are many who are now showcasing their skills by cooking. Dalgona coffee has gone viral. But I’m not really a cooking person. So you can’t really see me putting status of my cooking. I’m more into writing. So I keep writing. Just like a delicious meal takes time and practice to prepare, a good writing requires time and practice too.

If you are going through depression or any other mental illness, please seek for help. Depression is common now. Everybody goes through it. It is no longer a taboo to speak about depression. There are kind people who willing to help. You just need take a step out and look out. Avoid anything that makes you depressed. But during lockdown, it might be a bit difficult if you are staying with someone who is making you depressed. Just hold on. If it is physical abuse, please call for help. There are NGOs out there who is working to help you.

It is during this time that we can finally understand how those animals kept in zoo, in circus and in slaughter houses might be feeling. We have been thinking we are greatest creature on earth and that nobody can do anything to us. Now an invisible virus is threatening the entire human population. I hope once this lockdown is over, we will be more kind to mother nature and animals.