The number one EXCUSE we ever give to ourselves which is causing us a good fortune

We have always given all sort of excuses as to why we can’t or unable to do certain things. Clean that cupboard – I am busy. Do some exercise – I am busy. Read that book – I am busy. Work on your side business – I am busy. We have been so busy doing everything and anything and always give the excuse I am busy, hence I don’t have the time.

Right now, we have been forced to sit at home. There is plenty of time available and guess what! I am still not doing the thing I wanted to do all these while. I wanted to finish reading story books on my bookshelf, I wanted to finish reading a management book, I wanted to work on my little garden and grow vegetables, I wanted to finish writing my short story which is still pending there for months or shall I say years. But I’m not doing anything. I’m still wasting my time on either Facebook, Whatsapp, and Youtube. I can no longer give the excuse that I’m just tired after work or I’m just busy with other important thing because I don’t have any other important thing to do now.

After more than a week stuck at home, I have started to analyze my own reasoning. Am I really interested to do the thing I wanted to do? Why am I not doing it? I have come to a conclusion. It is basically pure LAZINESS! I am just lazy and lack of motivation to actually start doing it. Another main reason for this will be I WILL DO IT LATER ATTITUDE! I just love to postpone things. And then I will completely forget to do it. This is one of the reason why I started to create daily to do list for my work. I have shared a template for it before, if you haven’t check it out, please click here.

So time is not really an excuse. Time has always been there. It is the self to be blamed. And how do I help myself to come out of this excuses? How do I get myself to do more and reach the goals I have set for myself? I do not have a personal coach to push myself. Plus I don’t like anybody pushing me to do things. I would rather do things at my own pace. How am I going to achieve my goals if I don’t push myself? Is my goals not exciting enough to reach? I am looking at other people and see how successful they are. Thousands of followers, some of them even win some awards for bringing positive changes in people lives, they show their skills of doing certain things like make up, being a model, creating videos and showing their acting skills and many more. And what am I good at? I think I’m pretty good with writing (with hope to write better than now) but yet I’m still not writing enough.

Three years back, I created this blog with the aim of following my own passion. I have written something about finding your passion (If you haven’t read it yet, you can read it here). I was hoping to slowly to start earning income through blogging and eventually do this blog full time. But I realized it is not an easy thing to do because I find that writing is a form of healing for me and I want to write something that makes me happy. But in order to monetize a blog, we are encouraged to focus on specific niche so you will attract readers who are interested and they keep coming back for more to read in your blog. But I have different ideas and want to write about so many things that is happening in my life. I want to share something that might be helpful for another person who is also going through problems like me. I want to encourage people to be who they are. Probably due to my inability to stick to specific niche and also due to inconsistent writing, I still haven’t figure it how to start earning through this blog. Some of the terms in blogging world still seems alien to me like SEO, I still haven’t figure it out. But I have learnt how to organize my blog, how to insert links, how to find for free images in wordpress, etc. Every time I write, I am learning. I am working on my passion. Still a long way to go. Probably after 5 years, my blog will be famous. I am yet to write one viral post that will draw readers to my blog. Another possible reason will be I’m not paying to promote my blog. For some weird reason, I still prefer for people to discover my blog on their own and come back to read my blog on their own. Did you roll your eyes? *wink*

Now since I already know that “busy”, “I don’t have the time” and “I will do it later” is just a lie I give to myself to avoid doing the things that matter to me. I have to find a way to actually start doing things instead of just thinking about it in my head. How about you? What are your excuses? Is there something that you always wanted to do but never have the time to do it? Probably this is the best time to actually start doing it. 🙂

If you would like to read my previous posts, please click here.

Time to slow down for self reflection

I think at the moment, most of the countries around the world have gone into lockdown or practice movement control among the citizens. We are all trying to save ourselves from the deadly virus. Here, in Malaysia, the government has started movement control order for the citizens in order to protect us. Now already one week has passed since this order has been placed.

The initial stage I was trying so hard to warn or remind whoever in my contact or in social media to stay at home and avoid crowded places because this virus is so deadly and can kill anyone with weak immunity. I forwarded tons of post in a day and felt so frustrated because there are so many people out there who don’t understand a simple instruction or probably refused to follow order for whatever reason they have. Even the educated one refused to follow by saying all kind of reasons.

After a week, I feel tired. I no longer feel the need to scroll the FB newsfeed constantly. I open Instagram, only to close it shortly after because I no longer find anything to be interesting anymore. I feel like loss of appetite to eat. Not wanting to sleep either. I finally started reading a book today. A book about betrayal. About the pain of betrayal if we are the victim and how to look for sign if someone about to betray us. How sometimes we ignore the signs and keep forgiving a person because we ourselves are feeling insecure and how we might try to be a hero by trying to save someone. I just glanced through the book, read about interesting stories mentioned in the book and just tried to absorb some main points as I find it a bit difficult to keep my attention too long on it.

I’m not writing to share what is written in that book. Rather I feel I want to go into self reflection. What is it that I’m thinking. How am I going to survive in the next few months looking at the current situation. What is going to happen to our country and what is going to happen to the world? We are in crisis now. Businesses are going downhill. People are dying. We are literally in a war with virus. The human race is trying to save itself from this deadly virus. Whether this virus is created by human or not, I see this as a way to pay back to mother nature and all those animals we have tortured and killed all these while without mercy.

More and more videos are emerging on social media to show how China’s citizen has mercilessly tortured and killed animals and some are eaten alive. It is so sickening to watch and I feel that these humans deserve the same kind of death. Not only in China, other countries also kill animals mercilessly. Animals living at livestock are also killed mercilessly. They are being killed so that they can be ended up in our plate. We are also part of this cruelty, some of us directly involved and some of us indirectly involved. I feel it is now the time to payback for all our sins. We are living in fear, for fear of death. Just like how these animals were living in fear waiting to be slaughtered.

Even though I want to help to save people from dying, I want to scream to people to stay at home and save yourself, I realized some people are just meant to be outside there. Maybe they are just meant to go through this suffering and if not strong enough, to die. So many warnings have been given out to public, it is like the God of Death is standing in front of you and reminding you to save yourself, otherwise you would lose your life and your loved ones but there are people out there ignoring these signs. Maybe it is supposed to be in this way. It is meant for people to catch this virus. It is meant for humans to lose everything. It is meant for humans to learn from the mistake, a graveyard mistake. Will human realize or they will again continue to ignore this warning? This is not the first time such virus appears. It has always infected humans before. Only thing is now it has come back much stronger to the extent that the entire world is forced to sit at home and quarantine themselves.

I have started practicing gratitude a while back and reminded myself that today could be my last day breathing in this body and that tomorrow I may not be alive. I tell myself to be grateful for what I have today. Sometimes I forget to remind myself about this. Sitting here I feel the surrounding has become quiet. There is not much noise. Only the radio is playing in my living room. And the air noise from the fan hitting directly on my face. I feel the world is slowing down. I feel like I’m back to my school holidays when I’m at home for almost one and half month waking up late and watching cartoons.

I started to miss my office where there were telephones ringing from time to time and the laughter of my colleagues. I started to miss fighting, arguing and laughing with my colleagues. I started to miss going out to meet my customers and talking to them and showing them around and closing a business deal. I started to miss going out and walking in shopping complex and having a good meal. I even started to miss my ex. All the fights and arguments. How if suddenly he dies from this virus? Will I be affected? I just feel like want to end all types of conflicts with everyone and apologize for any wrongdoing whether knowingly or unknowingly. I just don’t want to carry the burden to next life.

All these while I was worrying of finding the right life partner and about marriage. Now it has become insignificant as I’m more focused into surviving and saving myself and loved ones. I believe I have to focus more on having the right thoughts and positive mindset in order to survive. Look into the future. How I see my life. Do I see myself suffering or living a great life? We have always encountered problem in life and we have always somehow managed to come out of it. Help comes out of nowhere in way that we never expect. Let’s be hopeful for tomorrow.

This is a time for self reflection. This is a time to change. This is a time to find where we have been doing wrong and change to be a better person. This is the time to be grateful. Grateful for this time. We have a long time given to us to discover ourselves. A long time to connect with our family. A time to serve the people. A time to determine what is actually important.