Sometimes I feel myself a little weird

I refuse to do what everybody is doing

I feel I have my own path to follow

Yet I look around and worry why am I different

I see everybody getting married

Baby shower everywhere

Travelling everywhere with kids

Everybody seemed very happy

Yet I have this constant fear

Stuck with one person for the rest of my life

Who could be wrong for me in everyway

Wondering if there is the right one

The thoughts of constant argument

Losing freedom and having to bring up a child

Not knowing how the child will grow up

In a world where the future seems dark

Yet I’m hoping for a good future

Yet hoping I will find an answer

For my constant searching

That I will be so sure that this will work

Feels like two different desires

Fighting and arguing with each other

One longing to have own little family

One longing for complete freedom

One looking at others and wants it

Yet aware of all the problems it has face

Another learns from the mistakes of others

And refused to settle down

Yet I am aware I can only choose one

I cannot enjoy both worlds

It’s a struggle to convince the self

I wonder why am I different…

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

16.09.2019