I don’t know if there is anyone in this world who are constantly happy all the time. I try to be happy and be present in the moment but hey, it is not that easy. I think best to describe emotions in a graph. Let’s take 30 days in a month. There will be 5 days I’m truly grateful & happy, another 20 days in a state of confusion and another 5 days in sadness. Sometimes I don’t even know what is making me sad and why am I sad. Today I make a decision and tomorrow I question myself if I actually did make a right decision. I don’t know if I’m like this because my horoscope is Libra.
Libra is symbolized with scales. Constantly weighing the pros and cons. Constantly thinking. Making a decision is tough for me. I take such a long time to make a decision about things that I’m unsure about. For example, I wanted to continue my studies. Initially I thought I should take MBA. After that, it went to psychology, corporate communication, journalism, etc. The same goes to marriage. There are days I’m super glad I’m not married. There are days I wish I’m married. There are days that I don’t know what exactly I want anymore. And I realized one thing, no matter what I choose and do, there will be both emotions, happiness and sadness.
My aim is to ensure that I do not stay in sadness for long time. I have to keep working and focus on the things that makes me happy. For example, this blog. I wanted to start writing as a way to express myself. Being an introvert, sometimes I don’t really like crowds and chit chat unnecessary things. I can talk for hours but on topics that I’m interested in. Since I can only vibe with few people, best option for me is writing. Since I think a lot, I can put my thoughts into words. Hope some of my writing resonate with you, my beloved friends.