Signs Of Interest

Sometimes we keep searching

For some clue

Whether or not

Someone likes us

 

Google becomes our best friend

Trying to understand human behaviour

Does he like me?

Why did he do that?

 

We get excited

When most of it shows

That our crush likes us

Otherwise our glance wouldn’t meet?

 

A man can show all the signs

That how great he is

That how gentle he is

But he might be putting up a show

 

A man can do all the right thing

Say all the right thing

Only until he gets what he wants

Only until he gets some benefits

 

Try refuse a little

Suddenly he is found nowhere

That is a sign

How much of a fool you have been

 

A man can bring you to his parents

A man can spend thousands on you

A man can find time despite busy schedule

But this doesn’t guarantee anything

 

Don’t be deceived

Be clever and think

But sometimes our own experience

Is the best teacher of all

 

Sometimes we can’t avoid

Being fooled

We have to learn the hard way

A sign of interest may be a trick

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

24.07.2019

Better Me

Pain is definite

No one can escape

If today I’m happy

Tomorrow I might not

Different people come

Give different experience

Some make me happy

Others make me suffer

Sometimes innocence

Becomes my greatest

Reason for downfall

But is it really downfall?

Selfishness everywhere

Some don’t care

How their action

Affects other people

Some look for

Every opportunity

To take advantage

For their own benefit

Life presents to me

Two different choice

Drown in sadness

Or rise despite fall

I have to pass

Different exam

If I fail

Retake the exam

If yesterday

I was good

Today I want to

Be a better version

Someone who is

Smart, classy and elegant

Good hearted

And successful

I want to come back

Stronger than ever

Smarter than ever

Good hearted than ever

No bad experience

Can make me

Into a bitter version

Am I born to be bitter?

No…

I am born to be better

I am born to be happy

I am born to be smiling

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

24.07.2019

Independent

You cannot live alone

You must stay with a man

The society will look badly at you

If you don’t have a man

You need a companion

To help you during bad times

To avoid being lonely

You must find a man

Quarrelling and fighting

Is part and parcel of life

Today you fight

Tomorrow you will be fine

But is this true

Will I get help during bad times

Will I not feel lonely

If I have a man

I want to break free

From the cages I’m in

I want to fly high

Spread my wings

I want to do what I want to do

I want no objection

I want peaceful life

I want to stand on my own feet

I want to save myself

I want to be my own companion

I want to crown myself

I want to love myself

I want to make myself a priority

I want to be a queen of my life

I don’t want to be a slave

I want to be independent

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

16.07.2019

Blame

It is easy to blame

Everyone and everything

Sometimes even God

For things we couldn’t get

 

We couldn’t get that ice cream

We blamed our parents

We couldn’t achieve good marks

We blamed our teachers

 

We couldn’t get that promotion

We blamed our boss

Our friend get promoted first

We talked bad behind them

 

We missed that plane

We blamed the traffic

We arrived late to the interview

We blamed the train

 

The weather getting hotter

We blamed the sun

No water supply for days

We blamed the rain

 

We cannot get our dream education

We blamed the government

We cannot get a loan

We blamed the bank

 

We keep blaming

For one thing or another

We blamed everyone and everything

Except our own self

 

Are we not responsible for our own life

Are we not supposed to work to improve our life

We blamed others and circumstances for years

But did anything change to improve our life

 

Swallow the hard pill

We are responsible for our life

Don’t depend on external circumstances

To give what we want

 

Take ownership of our life

Good or bad, we have to stand for ourselves

If things gone wrong, find a way to fix it

Don’t just sit in a corner and keep blaming

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

24.07.2019

Day 42 – The Process of Healing

I couldn’t write everyday due to work commitment and other things which needed my immediate attention. Therefore I have to take a long jump from Day 2 to Day 42. I definitely feel better now. I have taken few steps to make myself feel better. So I’m going to share with you what I did in my journey to heal myself.

1. Make myself completely busy

I think situation was just helping me to pull this through because I had so much work piling up to the extent that I do not really have time to think about past. I made myself busy even during the weekends with new activity.

2. Gardening

Do you know gardening is actually healing? I have started buying small flower pots and taking care of them. Watering them everyday and checking if they are okay. Seeing flowers bloom makes me feel happy. Currently I have 4 different plants at home and I also started to plant vegetables for cooking. Checking them everyday to see how much they have grown. Check why they wilt and turn yellow. My parents are also helping me to grow my little garden. 🙂

3. Fountain

I bought a fountain to be placed in our home. When I saw this fountain in a shop during one of my work trip, I immediately felt a sense of calm and decided to buy it. It is a beautiful deity statue and symbolizes family. I remember reading how fountain can help to reduce stress. It is really helping me to reduce stress and I believe it is helping me to heal myself. But I found out something interesting. My parents are old now but they still quarrels a lot. After I placed the fountain in our home, I realized my parents have reduced quarrelling. My father seems to be less irritated with my mum and vice versa.

According to my mum, she feels that it is because she was away for few weeks staying with my sister and taking care of her baby. Maybe during this time, he realized how lonely it is without my mum and reduced arguing with her. But for me, I feel it is because of the fountain. I cannot say for sure though. If you would like to give it a try, please do so. But keeping fountain at home comes with certain rules and certain location to get maximum benefits. Putting it wrongly may result in negative outcome. Kindly do some research before doing this. 🙂

4. Meditation

I do take some time away to sit down quietly and meditate with a soft music. I found some soft music with a length of less than 10 minutes in youtube and downloaded for offline. I try to sit for meditation for that duration, if I feel like I want to do that on repeat, I repeat the music. Spending time with self allows me to think what is good for me and not good and allows for my intuition to speak up.

5. Spending time with family

I spend more time sitting in the hall and have little conversation with my mum. Or watching Tamil drama together with my parents (I have no choice since both are hooked in the drama and I’m also getting influenced by them). Or talking with my sister and her baby via video call. Seeing funny things that our little man doing definitely uplift my spirit and put a smile on my face.

6. Volunteering

I wanted to take part in some volunteering work just to fill in my free time during weekends. The law of attraction has been working well for me because it delivers what I ask for. Sometimes a little late but it always delivers. So I got an opportunity to take part as a speaker/facilitator in one of the programme designed to help Indian students in our community. We have to teach them some moral values and virtues so that they grow up and become a better person which is clearly lacking in current technology era. It is not exactly volunteering because it comes with a pay. But I would do it even if I’m not paid for it because I have been looking to do something like this. This is a way I feel I can give back to the society through my knowledge and skills.

7. Considering ex to be dead

I know it is a bit weird but I’m doing this. I read a comment in one of a youtube video where someone shared that they are coping up with break up or bad relationship by considering that person to be dead. I thought this is interesting. I cannot be in contact with someone who is already dead, right? I can only have the memory but not this person anymore. So I decided to take only good memory and consider this person to be dead.

8. Celebrating for each week passed with no contact

I started to set an alarm on my phone for 1 week. I decided to celebrate my achievement each week that passed with no contact with my ex. This is to stop myself from accepting or going back to the person that I’m trying to forget. Overcoming attachment is tough. But you shouldn’t go back or accept someone who have proved themselves to you that they are not worthy of your love. Especially when you know for real that this is never going to work, then the wise thing to do is to stop it. My weakness with this is I tend to think maybe there is a little chance for this person to change and maybe I should give them another chance. That I shouldn’t give up hope on this person. This kind of thinking will make me to reach out to that person that I’m trying to forget. So I find that this is a brilliant way to stop reaching out, consider them to be DEAD and celebrate!

So far this is what I have been doing and I am feeling better and I have accepted the fact that it is over and gracefully moving on. I want to live happily and make today a memorable one. 🙂