If I die today, how will people remember me?

Every now and then, we hear tragic news about death. People die from accidents, robbery, bully, fire, rape, etc. It is so scary that forces me to think how will I die? I definitely want a peaceful death. Then I have this thoughts “How will people remember me when I die?”

Will people remember a good memory of me? Will people remember a bad memory of me and glad that I’m dead now? What am I leaving behind as a history? Is it a good one or bad one? Did I live my life to the fullest and have no regrets?

I want people to remember me as someone who is good at heart. Someone who is helpful. Someone who has contributed to the society and left a legacy. I want my name to be one of those well known people in history. I want to have a good impact on society. This makes me to think what can I do to bring a change? A good change in people’s life. Something that nobody has done before. Everyone who is well known in history have done something significant without expecting any return of it. They did it selflessly. So what can I do selflessly like them? πŸ™‡

Sometimes I see people keeping grudges and refuse to forgive and forget someone’s mistake. Throughout their life, they live a life full of unhappiness, sadness and anger. What is the point of living such a life? Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we can live peacefully and loving towards each other? What is there for us to lose? It actually feels good to be loving and genuine at heart rather than be skeptical and bias.

I think it is important to live a life with purpose. Bring good change in people’s life. Inspire people to become a better version of themselves. Live a life full of love and happiness. ❀❀❀

Source of image : google image imgator.ru/imgsearch=%E1%EE%F1%E0%FF%201280×1024

The Reason Why I Don’t Attend Weddings / Social Gatherings

Every now and then, I’m getting a lot of invitation to attend weddings, baby showers, birthday celebration, engagement, and many other occasions. I get those invitations either through whatsapp, FB messenger, mailed to my house address and some of them come and give it personally to me. When I get it, I’ll be excited to go. But something else will happen on the actual day. Let me tell you what actually happens behind the scenes with a little bit of history.

How people look at me

Those who know me or have seen me will always label me as quiet, reserved, strict and not friendly until they actually start to talk to me. From young age, I was a quiet and shy person. I didn’t really have much self confidence. I will always hide behind the curtain. I prefer people not to see me. I used to follow my parents to go to weddings and engagements. They will be socializing and talking to their friends. I will be sitting there quietly, not knowing what to do. I will not be able to strike a conversation with total strangers. On the contrary, my sister is very good at communicating. Wherever she goes, she will easily find new friends. She can talk to total strangers. She has these friendly nature and will always smile to people. And I don’t even smile to people. People used to be scared at me though.

Communication skill

When I entered secondary school, my communication skill was being tested and I failed miserably. I didn’t really like to strike a conversation and approach a total stranger. On the first day, my mum was there to make sure everything is okay and I know what to do. After that, I was on my own. For the first year, I didn’t have any friends and I was going for lunch break alone. Yes, alone for one whole year! I did try to mingle around but at that time, I can’t even speak good English. Well, at home I speak Tamil and during primary school, we speak Malay. I didn’t really get opportunity to speak in English. Only in secondary school, I actually learned to speak English. So due to the lack of communication skills, I was all alone. You will not believe that I don’t even speak to the Malay girl sitting next to me in the class. Until one day she told me “Puspha, you cannot be like this. You have to talk. You can talk to me and the girls sitting in front of us at least.”

Then, we started to talk and I realised they are nice. “You only look not friendly but actually you are very friendly!” One fine day she told me. Well, till today I still get the same feedback. Many would agree I look not friendly. Especially when I don’t smile, I look scary. But don’t judge a book by its cover. You have no idea how I am, I can be crazy! πŸ˜…

Best friend found, at last!

On the second year of my secondary school, I found an Indian girl that I clicked with. We became best friends. We will spend time together, go everywhere together and curse each other if one of us are absent from school because we have to be alone. One thing I realized I depend a lot on the vibes I get when I’m with someone. These vibes are the deciding factor whether we will be good friends or not. I’m not saying other people are bad. It is just that I’m very selective. And I can’t fake it. I feel stress if I try to fake it. I just don’t go well with everybody. I would rather be alone than to be with wrong company.

First experiment

Knowing that I have this weakness, I knew I have to do something about it. So what I did was to experiment. I had to go for National Service and it was a place of total strangers. I didn’t know anyone there. I told myself I have to speak this time. I don’t want to be alone. So I tried to be friendly so that I would have friends. I managed to get some friends (yeayy finally) but at my heart, we didn’t really click. Within just 2-3 weeks into the camp, I realized I’m with wrong company and I was feeling little bit stressed. I find that some just come to me because they have an agenda. Because they are needy. Once their need is fulfilled, there I am again alone on my own. I did find my type of people during the camp but it was a bit too late by then because I was exiting the camp earlier because of getting an admission for Form 6. But it was a good experiment that I did for myself. I knew what I can and what I cannot do or don’t like to do.

From this experience, I knew I need to select people that I have good vibes with. People that I’m comfortable with. That is why even in university, I will roam alone in the campus. I didn’t really have any close friends that I clicked with other than my spiritual friends. My inner circle of friends are those with whom I can have real and deep conversations with. Small talks bore me to death.

Why I disapppear?

Now done with the history. Let’s come to the present situation. Every time I get an invitation, trust me I’m dying to come. To congratulate you on your wedding, for your newborn or birthday celebration. Then in my mind, I will picture how the situation gonna be. I don’t know anyone else apart from the inviter. Maybe I will see some friends that I’m not close with. Will I talk to them or just ignore them? What will I talk to them? How if I know many of them but none talk to me? It might be awkward! Should I smile or not? I haven’t even see the inviter for ages, how the meeting will be? Happy? Excited? Anxious? Who will accompany me to go there? The only friend I have is always caught up with her work. My sister loves to accompany me to go to weddings. Remember I told you she is friendly. It’s a piece of cake for her. But it’s like a big assessment for me. Will I pass the assessment? The problem is I don’t like to fake myself. I don’t like to pretend. If I like you, I like you. If I don’t like you, I really don’t like you. It will be very obvious.

The feeling of anxious will be so great that at the end of the day, I would just decide not to go. I would just disappear. You have no idea how many times I get scolding from my mum. “Why are you not going? You should go. Your friends have sent you invitation!” I will just tell her plainly I don’t have the mood to go.

Family gatherings

Sometimes even my own family gatherings, I don’t go. I know them very well, I meet them during different occasion in a year. There are number of times, I didn’t feel like going and I didn’t turn up to my own family gatherings. If I’m not happy inside my heart, I don’t Β want to go out and spread my unhappiness. I can’t fake it. I will be so unhappy that I will make other people unhappy too. Some people are very good with hiding their emotions. I’m just bad at it. Sometimes I ended up hurting people because I’m hurt myself. All they can see is anger and irritation from outside. My family members don’t know what I go through internally and will be very upset with me. I will be like I’m not okay, don’t disturb me and just leave me alone. I don’t know why I’m so weird. I don’t know if any of you can relate to me. I simply don’t like to please people by sacrificing my own happiness and peace of mind. Maybe I’m just selfish for my own sake.

My suggestions

Guys, I’m an introvert. I’m not an extrovert. The way I think, the way I see things, the way I feel and the way I approach to things are different. I don’t know how many of you are able to relate to me. Whenever I read post on introvert, I can relate to it so much. It is like 100% true about my personality. I really value my alone time rather than be in social gathering and ended being so exhausted.

I love to be on my own company. And I also love to be with people but it has to be the right click. So how to deal with an introverted person like me? I will give you some suggestions:

1. Please approach me and strike a conversation. You have no idea how good I am in talking.

2. Allow me to talk. Most introverted person will be a good listeners. If you just keep talking without a break, of course I will listen. But in my head, I’ll be thinking “Oh God, please help me to cut this conversation. I need a break!” To connect to me, you have to keep your mouth shut and listen to what I have to say.

3. Have heart to heart conversation with me. Tell me what you really are. Be real. Just asking what I had for lunch, what did I do during the day is boring. Talk something meaningful. Talk about something that I’m passionate about.

4. It is best to talk to me alone. If I’m with a group of friends, you will see me not talking. I will be the quietest in the group. Best to sit and talk in a cafe setting. Please avoid crowd. I don’t like crowded and noisy area.

5. My sense of intuition is very strong. I will know what is your intention even before you open your mouth. Your vibes is communicating with me. Whatever your intention is, I will know. If I sense something is not right or don’t feel good, I will normally back off. It is like an alarm for me with a red light. “Danger! Danger!” πŸ˜‚

6. Always keep in touch with an introverted person from time to time. Do spend some time together with me, so it makes it easier for me to communicate with you and don’t feel awkward.

7. Give me a lot of space. I will run if you constantly bug me with phone calls and messages. I need that break.

8. Don’t always come and talk about negative stuff to me. I don’t like too much talking bad about people. I feel my energy getting drained due to this. Normally I will avoid this kind of people.

9. Β I decide things in a moment. If I have nothing to do at the moment and feeling good and you happened to invite me to go out somewhere or to do some activity, most likely I will say yes!

10. If I happened to go to an event with you, never leave me alone for too long. I won’t know what to do. So, don’t be surprised if I decline your request in future.

This is my personality as an introvert. Because of this, I tend to avoid meeting large group of people. It is very exhausting for me. I’m trying to change it slowly. If you can relate to me and find that you have similar traits like me, do leave some comments here. I would love to know your thoughts. Thank you for reading. 😊

Source of Image : https://www.riskology.co/what-is-an-introvert/

10 Tips on How to Attract Customers to Your Mamak Restaurant

Mamak Restaurant are available 24 hours mostly nearby the residence area. I love these restaurants because the food are cheap and I can find Indian food easily. I’m quite particular and choosy when it comes to food. I would rather eat the same food everyday rather than trying some new dishes that I might be wasting and ended up in the rubbish bin. I simply can’t waste food.Β 

I have been observing how most Mamak shops operate and thought to share some tips on how they can improve their service and attract and keep loyal customers. Just because it is Mamak restaurant, doesn’t mean they can’t provide best services to their customers. So here are 10 tips on how Mamak restaurant can attract loyal customers to keep coming.

1. Have Electronic Device to Take Order

I find it frustrating when I get food not as per what I have requested to the waiter. Normally I will order specifically what I wanted and what not to put in the food as I’m vegetarian. Then I have to request them to change if it is not what I wanted. Some restaurants do have electronic device when they take order from the customers. I find it more accurate and most of the time I’m satisfied with the food. This is because the message goes directly to the cook and the person who will do the drinks. By just telling to the waiter, some information goes missing and the cook is not informed properly. When I ask why it is not like what I have requested, most of the waiter tell me they did tell the cook but still they do it wrongly. And not only that, the food is ready within just few minutes and I hardly have to wait too long. So to save time and energy, invest in those electronic device.

2. Attend to Your Customers Immediately

I don’t really like to go to a restaurant that they don’t come to take orders immediately and I have to keep waving my hands to ask them to come. Sometimes I have to shout to call them since whistling is inappropriate for a girl. Most of the time this happens if the restaurant is busy and they have less manpower to handle. Waiting for 5 minutes is fine but having to wait for more than 10 minutes I think I don’t have that much of patience especially when I’m really hungry. (I know, I’m trying to inculcate more patience πŸ˜›)

3. Have Some Varieties

Some restaurants that I go do not have much varieties. For example, if I were to order thosai, I expect it with dhall and with coconut or tomato chutney. Some restaurants they only have dhall. Where is the chutney? You can cook the dhall curry with different style. It doesn’t have to taste the same.

4. Keep Clean Cutletries with Tissues

I would prefer a clean spoon and fork to eat with some tissues on the table. I wonder if tissues are so expensive that they tend to keep it at the counter. I need the tissues while I’m eating or after I wash my hand. Unfortunately, I only find it when I’m about to leave the restaurant. What’s the point?

5. Cook Tasty Food with Less Oil

Cholesterol level among Malaysians are very bad according to the Ministry of Health. It would be good if you can cook with less oil. Too much oil spoil the taste and it looks bad. And of course, try to get a good cook for your restaurant.

6. Don’t Flirt with Your Customers

Yes, please. Some of the restaurants that I go to are less profesionals and tend to flirt with their customers. They can be the owners or the people who work there. It makes us feel very uncomfortable and makes us think twice if we want to go again to your restaurant. I’m not kidding. This is real. Well, if the customer really don’t mind, then it is a different story.

7. Keep It Clean

I don’t have to mention this. Cleanliness is very important.

8. Always Check With Your Customer If They Need Anything

Most of the time, I will call them again to order for second round. Because normally I will order only one thosai or one chapati. If I’m still hungry, I will order second one because I prefer the food is served hot. It would be good if you can come and check again if I need anything else while I’m still eating. This is basic customer service. Most of us will appreciate if you do this. There are occasions that I didn’t order the second round because the waiter is so busy or didn’t notice me calling them. You just lost some revenue here.

9. Suggest to Try New Menu

If you know you have very good dishes, why not suggest it to your new customers. Who knows they might try it and would recommend to their friends. Normally I will try if the waiter do suggest it.

10. Update The Location in Google Maps

When I’m not quite familiar with some area and I’m looking for food to eat, I tend to google to find out the nearest restaurant available. We are in the digital age. Why don’t use it to your advantage? Update it in google maps and waze app with pictures and location of your restaurant. People who visit your restaurant can provide valuable feedbacks that you can use to improvise your service. Even Facebook prompts me to update review on places that I go since the app detects the location that I’m in.

So I have written some of my thoughts that I always have when I go to a restaurant. Sometimes I feel like telling them to do this but they might get me wrong. If you do have any other ideas in how to improve the service at restaurant, please do share in the comments below. If you like it, please feel free to share.

Source of image : google

Why It Has To Be An Iphone? Why Not Oppo?

I believe most people will have the desire to own the well known brand Iphone. The brand is recognized for its security, good quality camera and it doesn’t hang like other smartphone brands. Well, this is what usually an Iphone user tell me. Why I should be using an Iphone! But my question is why not other brand? Why not Oppo? Why it has to be an Iphone?

Let me tell you something about myself. I’m not a fan of smartphones. I know very basic things about smartphones. I know what is the model of my phone. I know how to operate my phone. I know how to download things. But if you ask me too detailed stuff about a phone like the RAM, etc, I’m sorry I do not know. Am I supposed to know that? There are so many things I need to remember, I don’t want to remember on things that I really don’t have any interest in.

I do not know why I just can’t spend on buying a handphone. The first few Nokia models that I had were all given to me as a secondhand. I was happy with just that. My sister used to work her ass off just to get a good phone. I still remember when my brother bought for me the very first smartphone which unfortunately didn’t last long. It fell down and broke. Then I went back to Nokia.

Even when my phone was giving me problem, I continued to use it with loyalty. Of course I was complaining along the way. My brother will ask me “why don’t you just spend a few hundred to buy a phone?” In my mind, I was hoping that someone will buy me a phone because they cannot tolerate me complaining. Hahaha…I don’t mind to spend the same amount of money on good clothes but not on handphone. Don’t ask me why! I don’t know why. Weird uh?!

So when did I buy my very first smartphone and why did I buy it? I will tell you. I was working at that time with a reasonable salary. I had a crush that I was hoping he will like me too. My colleague was telling me I should get a smartphone. Otherwise how do you text him? Whatsapp was getting popular at that time. And many are changing to smartphones. Now I have a motivation and I thought I have to change my phone. So I bought my very first phone which was a Lenovo with just RM500. I cannot spend more than that. I was like there goes my money! Sob…Sob… But for my crush, I thought it is ok.

So don’t think too much on my crush because it didn’t work out. I continued to use the phone for two years. The camera was not that good. It kept hanging from time to time which I did get frustrated. Well, what can you expect from a RM500 phone? But it was good! I used it for two years. Until one day it blackout and I couldn’t switch it on back. Just to repair it, I have to spend like RM400. 😯 So I thought let me buy a new phone. Now what phone should I buy? Guess what…

Many told me to buy an Iphone. I was literally getting pressured from my peers to get an Iphone. I like the camera though. The pictures turn out to be really good. That’s the only thing I liked about Iphone. Other than that, the size of the phone was too small (of course now they have bigger size). You have to pay for most of the app. You have to operate it differently unlike androids. For new users, it is a little frustrating. My sister has an Iphone. In the beginning, she didn’t know how to select a particular song. She would select one song but another song will play. I used to tease her “you spent so much for the phone but it is not working properly!” 😝

I did consider to buy an Iphone. It was against my own will. But again, when I think I have to spent more than RM3000 just to get a phone, my heart will cry! How if the phone is stolen or lost? I definitely cannot bear the pain of losing such an expensive phone. So I asked myself “what do I need to have in a phone?” So I listed it down.

  1. I need a good camera for good selfie πŸ˜…
  2. The screen must be large enough to make it easier for me to read
  3. The only three apps I use mostly are Facebook, Youtube and Whatsapp apart from checking emails from time to time
  4. Memory space to store lots of pictures (can get memory card for that), some app available to back up pictures
  5. Mostly I’m going to use it just to call and message

My main concern was the camera and the money which I cannot spent on handphones. I’m not that rich yet that I can close my eyes to buy RM3000 handphone. Not yet! The question is do I want it? Do I desire it? The answer is no. So I ignored all my peer pressure and went ahead to get myself an Oppo instead. It meets my needs. I bought it just for RM1200. I hope I can use this phone for 5 years! Hahaha

What I’m trying to say here is not everybody is crazy about phones. Some Iphone users I feel, just using it to show off. I know people who bought the latest Iphone launched despite already using an Iphone. And then purposely come and ask me in loud tone “Puspha, what phone is that you are using?” I replied back with annoyed look “You don’t know what phone I’m using?” I kinda announced to everyone in my team earlier when I bought it and she can still come and ask me this question so that she can proudly say she has the latest Iphone. Irritating creature.

If you are using an Iphone just to look down on people or to brag that you are using one, please for God’s sake stay away from me! I really get irritated and might snap at you. You don’t want that to happen! Honestly ask your heart if you are an Iphone user, was there anytime that you feel so proud of having an Iphone? That you want to show off to someone “hey look I have an Iphone?” To have a rich look or to symbolise your status? If that is what I will feel if I were to own an Iphone, I do not want to get one for life! I do not want to use an Iphone just to look down on people. Even if I become a millionaire one day, if that is the attitude I’m gonna have, I do not want it! I would like to have it when it meets my needs, when I desire it, when I feel like “Yes, I want to own an Iphone”! For now, let me happily use my Oppo phone. Peace πŸ˜„

Source of image : digital news asia

 

 

 

Being Vegetarian

It was a life changing moment for me when I witnessed a duck being slaughtered in front of my eyes near my neighbourhood when I was a kid. I saw the duck was running for its’ life and this man caught it and cut the throat. I watched in horror the last few minutes of the duck’s life and could not forget it till today. Until then, never did I think from where all the chicken curry or fish curry came from. It was an awakening moment for me and scary at the same time that these chickens were being killed the same way everyday just because I’m eating them.

It haunted me for few days and guess what happened after that? My mum cooked chicken curry and I still ended up eating them. My mum cooks delicious curry though, can’t resist them. But deep down in me, I wanted to be a vegetarian one day. But how? I can’t even be vegetarian even for Friday. You know Indians have this practice at least every Friday, one should abstain from eating meat. My mum used to remind me not to eat anything non-vegetarian as it was supposedly a kind of “holy day” and we were supposed to be vegetarian. But when I went to school, I always ended up buying nasi lemak when I’m hungry or some “kuih” which is not vegetarian.

My first attempt

But I kept reminding myself that the day I’m staying far away from my parents, I would be a vegetarian. So the test came…It was the day I joined for National Service and very proudly I indicated in the form that I was vegetarian. Hoping that I would successfully become a vegetarian. We had rough training and marching every morning which wereΒ very exhausting. Then came the time for lunch, I eagerly went to take my vegetarian food only to find that there were some vegetables which looked like was soaked in just salt and I did not have the appetite at all to eat that. “How to eat just that and survive here?” I thought. So I failed miserably in my first attempt and decided to eat chicken again. But one good thing that happened was I stopped eating fish altogether at the camp, thanks to the cook! I almost vomited due to the smell of the fish, I guess it was not cleaned properly and not cooked properly. I was not a fan of fish curry back then.

I was still a non-vegetarian after I came back from the camp. And I still thought to myself, the day I’m no longer staying with my parents, I would be a vegetarian. And it happened! It was just before I was going to university. I was at my uncle’s place whose family was a vegetarian. They used to talk a lot about spiritualism which I loved to hear. And then there was this question which striked me! “If you believe in God, what He tells you is the ultimate truth, and He tells you that you have to be vegetarian which is true non-violence, why can’t you listen to that? Why can’t you follow?”

I just felt like I was given a tight slap on my face. I truly believe in God. I understand that the ancestors were a vegetarian and true Hinduism teach us non-violence. And that very moment, I decided that I will be a vegetarian and no turning back. Again I was tested! There were a feast which my uncle’s neighbour invited us to come and they had these fresh vegetables that we can eat. I just decided to eat those vegetables and surprisingly I didn’t have the urge to eat non-veg anymore.

My second attempt

It was like some hidden powers were given to me to say NO to meat. I did not secretly wish that I want to eat chicken at all. I went to study to Sabah for 3 years. I still remember one of my uncle was teasing and saying that there won’t be any vegetarian food available in Sabah and that I could not survive being a vegetarian there. I told myself in my heart “I will be a vegetarian no matter what”. At that point of time, none of us knew that there were a greater plan made especially for me so that I can survive there.

God had special plan and special people that could help me to become a vegetarian something which will not have been possible if I were to stay in Peninsular. Well planned! It’s like a chess game. Everything was planned and I believe without the help of God, the Almighty, I would not have been a vegetarian. That was a few years ago. I’m still a vegetarian, in fact learning to slowly become a vegan. πŸ™‚ Wish me good luck!

Funny experience Β 

There was once my brother teased me and said to me that when I come back home, he would purposely eat chicken in front of me so that I would have temptation to eat chicken. And you know what happened? He became vegetarian at that point of time because he had to put “malai” for prayers. It means for a specific time, he cannot take meat. Whenever I remember this, I would just feel amused. You want to test someone but you ended up being tested! Hahaha…

Steps to become vegetarian

That was my journey of becoming a vegetarian. I believe one cannot become a vegetarian unless you have a strong reason as to why you want to be one. Otherwise the temptation will be there and you will not able to resist it. If you wished to be a vegetarian, here are some of the steps you can take:

  1. Find out why you want to be vegetarian
  2. Know how the chicken, fish, crabs, etc are being fed
  3. Know that chicken are being injected with hormones that makes them grow in just 21 days which is not healthy
  4. Feel the fear that they have when they are being killed
  5. Get to know what happens to them in the slaughterhouse
  6. Tell yourself that you want to be a vegetarian
  7. Do it phase by phase, let go of it slowly, maybe seafood first, then beef, chicken, etc
  8. Most diseases are related to eating these animals, do research
  9. Do it for yourself, not because of someone else
  10. Never force yourself, it has to come from within
A million dollar question

A very popular question that people tend to ask me. Do you want to know what is that? What will you do if you get a husband who is non-vegetarian? Will you become a non-vegetarian too? Will you cook non-vegetarian food? Isn’t it difficult for the mother-in-law to cook for you separately? Well, I do not know what the future lies for me. I do not know if I would get married to someone who is vegetarian. Or maybe non-vegetarian. But I remember a good friend of mine shared with me long time ago, anything is possible with love. If you love someone, you will do anything to make them happy. If I find the love of my life, I hope to be accepted as I am. Actually I don’t mind my future spouse to be a non-vegetarian. I can’t force people to follow my principal, unless they want to. πŸ˜› Being vegetarian is good for your health anyway. Hahaha….

Hope these steps can help you to become a vegetarian. These steps helped me in one way or another. Please add on the steps that you find valuable at the comments below. πŸ™‚ If you like my post, pls feel free to like and share it. 😘