What are the 10 most important things in a relationship?

When it comes to relationship, what we want is long lasting and love filled relationship. We hope to find a relationship that will last forever. However there are certain criteria needed in order for the relationship to last long. I believe number one criteria will be finding someone who is into your soul rather than purely physical attraction. I believe the following criterias are very important to ensure your marriage life or partnership does have a happy ending.

1. Your partner have seen you without make up and still finds you adorable

In the initial stage of a relationship, no doubt physical attraction do play some special role. Having a healthy hair, flawless skin, perfect body shape, etc. But all these will fade in time. You will get older. Your hair will fall. Some will experience hair loss and may go bald. Your tummy going to show up. Your breast going to sag. You are not going to be always young and beautiful. We might cover some defects on our face with make up. But night will come soon and the make up has to be removed. Your bare naked face has to be shown. Does your partner accepts you with how you look without your make up? Does he starts to criticize you based on how you look? Does he says that you are looking ugly and puts you down? Well, if your partner constantly says something negative about you, then this is not an indication of a good partner. This relationship is more on physical rather than soul based. Soul based relationship will be more of who you are and what you bring to the table like kindness, patience, and love.

2. You can be your real self without hiding your weaknesses

Who don’t have weaknesses? Everybody has weaknesses. It is our duty to improve ourselves if we are lacking in certain area. But we wouldn’t be able to achieve perfection. You are messy person by nature but your partner is neat and tidy. You don’t have to act like you are tidy when you are not. You can try to improve and be less messier. Maybe you can keep certain area in the house where things can be messy and certain area has to be tidy. Both able to accept each other and adapt accordingly. Perhaps you are hot tempered by nature. You still get angry but you find a way to reduce friction by going out every time things go out of control. You are showing your weaknesses but you are trying to improve yourself. What happens if you are just faking it? One day the truth will be revealed and your partner going to be disappointed finding your real self. Hiding your weaknesses from your partner doesn’t give your partner an opportunity to do correct evaluation whether they can accept you wholeheartedly with your weaknesses. Some people can accept you being messy, some cannot. If they cannot accept you messy, then you have to change. If both cannot change and accept, then the relationship will be going through constant turmoil.

3. You can talk and finish off any arguments in a healthy way

Arguments are necessary in a relationship. Otherwise life will be boring. Both partners should be able to open up and express their point of view. Both should be able to understand each other and reach a solution best for both. Sometimes one has to give up something and sacrifice for their partner. Sometimes you may not be able to find a solution for it. Sometimes one of you have to sacrifice for the sake of the relationship and your family. But it has to be balanced. If only one partner has to sacrifice all the time, he or she will start to become bitter and resentful. If both partners continuously argue with no solution, then this shows lack of compatibility hence the relationship will not survive long term due to unhappiness.

4. Both of you are into spiritual or religious path where God becomes your guidance

We humans have certain limitation. It is said God is unlimited. If we want to give love to another person, first we must be filled with love. This love can be obtained by seeking God and following certain principles in life. When we grief, we look for God to help us reduce our burden. All religions teach us to be loving and peaceful. By following the spiritual or religious path that is suitable for both of you, when life goes hard, you both can fall back to God and seek for protection and clarification. Without God interference, you might be depending on each other too much and ended up sucking up each other’s positive energy.

5. Your partner takes care of you when you are ill

Sometimes tragedy happens in our life. Sometimes we fall ill. We look for partner not only to ensure our generation continues but also to ensure we have someone to take care of us when we are not capable to move physically all by ourselves. If something happen to our partner, we should also be ready to take care of them, not leave them halfway. If relationship is based on purely physical, we are doomed if we lose our physical body to disease or accidents.

6. Another woman or man cannot influence you to break up with each other

One of the reason why divorce happens is due to infidelity. The world is going towards materialism and forgetting true religion and spirituality. When one sees a man with material possession and influence in a society, they want to influence the man to accept themselves into their life. They would also want to enjoy the benefits of luxury life. For this, some don’t even mind if the man is married and have own family. In some cases, the man openly admits he has family and the woman accepts. In such circumstances, the family will break. Because the man’s attention now is diverted and he slowly forgets his responsibility towards his wife and children. If the man is not into physical relationship only, the man will not accepts this woman into his life. The man who is into soul connection love will not easily fall to this kind of trap. The same goes to a woman. A woman has to raise good children. If the woman is involved in adultery, how could she bring up good children?

7. Your partner encourage you to do the things that you like or enjoy

Every one wants to be happy and peaceful. We will feel happy doing things that makes us happy. Some likes drawing, some likes dancing, some loves gardening, etc. Why would a partner wants to see us unhappy? Such partner is definitely not suitable. As long as we want to do something that doesn’t breach any law and not harmful, our partner should be able to allow us to do what we want to do. For example, acting. Most heroines will stop acting once they got married because their partner doesn’t like them acting too close with opposite gender. Or probably scared the wife will be more successful than the husband in that career. Ego will be hurt. To avoid all these, make an agreement for the wife not to continue acting after marriage. Imagine a life not following own passion and not living up to full potential.

8. Your partner goes through bad time together with you

Why do you need a partner who don’t share ups and downs of marriage life? Sometimes economy is hit with a crisis. Maybe one of you or both might be facing retrenchment. When you have a partner who loves your soul, he or she will definitely will stick together and help you to come out of the bad situation. If it is based on physical, maybe they will leave you because now you no longer can take care of them financially, to buy branded clothes or going to expensive restaurants.

9. You can trust your partner

Trust is an important aspect in all relationships. I won’t say that trust can be given freely for 100% especially in the initial phase because trust has to be built based on past experiences. Did your partner do what they said will do? Did you ever get cheated by your partner? Your gut feelings can trust your partner? Did they ever let you down? Do they repeat the same offense again and again? Can you trust them with opposite gender at work and circle of friends? A person who is into soul connection and are truly in love will try their best to ensure that they don’t break their partner’s trust. Because once trust is no longer in the relationship, the foundation has become weak and we are just waiting for time to break the marriage or partnership. Once trust is broken, it is not easy to build it back.

10. Both are giving and receiving in the relationship

Nobody loves if they have to continue to give but don’t receive anything back in return. All relationship are made with the expectation of getting something in return. If one keeps giving without receiving, they will feel depleted and may feel unhappy in the long term of a relationship. One of the important key in keeping a long lasting relationship is by giving and take from each other. If one goes out to work, the other one takes care of home. If one takes care of cleaning, the other takes care of repairing. If one is away from home for work, the other takes care of kids at home. If one person has to do everything and the other doesn’t do anything, what is point of being in relationship? You will only build resentment.

As a conclusion, I believe the above criterias are needed in order for the relationship to last long and also to find out if someone is into your soul or just attracted to your body. If you can find someone with this criteria, consider yourself lucky. This criteria applies to both partner. If you are lacking in any of the mentioned criteria, try to improve yourself. A relationship requires cooperation and understanding from both partners. You can’t expect your partners to do all the above but you are not.

Join 92 other followers

Grab free online courses available now during lockdown

Thanks to one of the Instagram influencer that I was following recently, I got to know that there are free online courses available on the internet for everybody since the whole world are currently in lockdown or in strict movement control. You can just type “free online courses” on google search to find these free courses. I found interesting classes offered by Harvard University on Hinduism. It is totally free.

I find Coursera has a lot of interesting classes. One of the classes that I am currently following is “Learning How to Learn”. There is a timeline to finish this course with due date for assignments or quiz. I learn by watching videos and interviews given in the website. There are tons of other free courses too. Perfect way to spend time during this lockdown.

If you wish to get the certificate upon completing the course, there are some fee that you have to pay. This certificate you can attach on your LinkedIn profile for professional credential. So what are you waiting for? Grab this opportunity and google now to check! Share this information to everyone in your circle. Happy Learning!

Detachment is key to happiness

As I was preparing home made mask, my thoughts wandered. What is the cause of unhappiness? I realized that whenever I wanted to own something but I couldn’t afford makes me unhappy. Once I own it, again I become unhappy. I am single, desperately wanting to be in relationship makes me unhappy. But when I am in relationship, I’m still unhappy because I now have new desire which I haven’t own. I desperately wanted a specific job, I am unhappy when I couldn’t get it. Once I get it, my happiness doesn’t last long. The process of attaining something doesn’t make me happy nor does achievement makes happiness long lasting. So what is the key to happiness?

We always wanting something. That branded clothes. Expensive handphone. A job promotion. A friend choosing us instead of another friend. Wanting attention from special ones. Upgrading car to better ones. Ability to travel everywhere without worry. Extra money. Wanting more followers. Become famous. Become better than everybody else. We have so many desires. When we are unable to achieve something, we immediately become unhappy. Even if we don’t have much desires, we think we are okay with whatever that we have, still we are unhappy. There is a feeling of void inside of us. Do you feel this?

How if we are able to detach ourselves from the very thing that makes us unhappy? How if we can achieve a mind state that we will be completely fine whether we have certain things or not in life? How if we can separate the pain we feel in our heart and observe it as a third person? How if we can control ourselves by merely observing our thoughts and changing it? Once we are able to detach, then pain will no longer be there.

Detachment over non living things

Once we lose something we value like an expensive watch or brand new car which worth thousands can send us into deep sadness. Because we feel we have invested so much of money into it and now that it is lost from our possession, can make us really unhappy. We could be cursing ourselves for being so careless. But if we were to accept the fact that nothing belongs to us, everything we own in life is just temporary, then we know that we shouldn’t be attached to the non living things. If lost, we can always buy a new one. Maybe not the same, but it is replaceable. Having this mindset helps to balance our emotion in case something goes out of our hand.

Detachment over living things

Nobody is going to live forever and ever. The maximum lifespan one can live is only 100 years. Lifespan differs according to a country based on their lifestyle, eating habits, environment conditions, etc. Our loved ones will leave us one day. One day we might have to survive all on our own. Maybe with our own little family. Sometimes we do go on our separate ways even when they are still alive. Maybe we are no longer in good terms. Our ability to detach will ease this pain of separation whether they are still alive or left to another world.

Detachment over our own weaknesses and strengths

Sometimes we are attached to our own weaknesses. We feel this is how we are. We will always be like this. If we are lazy, we think we always will be lazy. Any weaknesses we have can be improved if we work on them. Attachment over our weakness makes us feel down whereas detachment gives us hope that one day I will be able to be better than who I am now. Attachment over our strengths makes us become egoistic. Maybe we are better in dancing or singing. We are so attached to our strengths that sometimes we couldn’t accept any other person is better than us. This can also lead to jealousy. Detachment over our strengths and weaknesses gives us the ability to observe ourselves. Reminds us to be conscious of our own thoughts.

Detachment over time

Everybody born at different time and grow at different places. Some are born rich and some are born poor. Some are meant to be a server. Some are meant to be a ruler. Everybody has a different timeline for important occasion in their life. Some graduate early. Some graduate late. Some will join workforce early and climb up the corporate ladder early. Some will become famous. Some will remain hidden under the sea. Everybody meant to live a different life. Life will be boring if all were to live similar life. Life will be predictable and will not be exciting if we know what is going to happen. Sometimes we chase time so that we can achieve things faster. But again the question of happiness comes in. Are we happy chasing the things we want? We could be chasing living things or non living things. Maybe we want to achieve things earlier than others. If we don’t, then we feel unhappy. Detachment over time is needed so that we can allow time to reveal things at the correct time. Maybe what we really needed will be given to us once we pass the current life exam. We have to let the life to unfold on its own. Our work is to make sure that we are happy going through it. Not to stress ourselves too much on why certain things are not happening.

Detachment is inner work

It is not easy to become detached from something or someone or time. We have to go within ourselves to be able to detach ourselves from this pain and suffering. Everytime we go crazy over attachment, it is important to keep reminding ourselves. This thing is separate from me. I don’t own it. This person is separate from me. I don’t own it. This is something I desire and I let time to unfold it. I don’t own time. I can’t control circumstances. I am aware of myself and my capabilities. What I meant to receive, I will receive it. What I meant to lose, I will lose it. We have to learn to become detached. We have to become separate. We must know how to live separate without attachment. Because attachment will bring us down. But detachment will bring us happiness.

Maintaining sanity during Covid 19

In Malaysia, we are currently under third phase of controlling the outbreak of Corona Virus. The first phase started from March 18 until March 31. The second phase started from April 1 until April 14. From April 15 until April 28 will be the third phase. I have been sitting at home for most of the time during this Movement Control Order (MCO) by our government. Once a week, I have been scheduled to work. The only time I was allowed to travel (of course with official letter from my employer). The other time, I limit myself from going out except to buy groceries.

My father is a type who don’t like to waste food. He doesn’t like buying and keeping stock at home. But I definitely do not want to starve in case we are not allowed to go out completely, so I do buy extra food and keep at home. Food that can last like flour, food in tin, noodles, etc. To avoid going out often, I will try to buy as much as possible that can last one whole week. There are news circulating that indicates total lockdown maybe on the way if Malaysians continue to go out and the cases are still high in numbers. The longer we are at home, the higher chances for us to lose our job. The economy will be badly affected. There are a lot of common people who don’t understand this doesn’t matter whether they are schoolkids, adults or senior citizen. Some declared they are ready to die but fail to understand they are infecting others and killing others too indirectly.

There are days I’m completely lazy, there are days I’m more productive. But it doesn’t feel the same like before. The energy level definitely dropped. Uncertainty, fear and negativity all comes together to attack my sanity. There are days I’m hopeful that things will be better once this pandemic is over.

Some of us might be going through hardship at the moment. Maybe unable to get food to eat. Maybe already sick but unable to get proper treatment. Single parent finding ways to feed the kids. Single ones might be feeling lonely. Husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend might be missing each other so much but unable to meet each other. Maybe parents unable to meet their kids. Some of us might have lost our family, friends or colleagues. Some of us might be stranded alone somewhere in the country. Unable to go home. Now Raya is coming. Even Bazar Ramadhan will not be opened to public. Probably delivery will be done instead of walk in.

This is a bad time but during bad time, we will be tested. We saw how the health ministry is handling this pandemic. We saw how the government is helping Malaysians to cope up with unpaid salary or job lost. The banks have deferred payment up to 6 months so that we can survive. So many NGOs, common people are coming out to help the needy. Not forgetting some are taking advantage at this time too. Some are delivering drugs under Grab delivery service. More scammers trying to cheat people. There are cases of burglary as some has left house for long time. But police are doing their work fast. We get updated news that the violators are getting arrested quite fast after they have been reported to the police.

For me, I keep my sanity by talking with my mum and siblings who are far away. Most of my time spent online in FB, Insta and Youtube. Plus the government has allocated 1 GB of free internet everyday from 8am to 6pm. Not much, but it definitely helps me to save my data as I’m always online now trying to keep myself occupied. Watching some good movies online. There are a lot of links given freely in FB. There are many who are now showcasing their skills by cooking. Dalgona coffee has gone viral. But I’m not really a cooking person. So you can’t really see me putting status of my cooking. I’m more into writing. So I keep writing. Just like a delicious meal takes time and practice to prepare, a good writing requires time and practice too.

If you are going through depression or any other mental illness, please seek for help. Depression is common now. Everybody goes through it. It is no longer a taboo to speak about depression. There are kind people who willing to help. You just need take a step out and look out. Avoid anything that makes you depressed. But during lockdown, it might be a bit difficult if you are staying with someone who is making you depressed. Just hold on. If it is physical abuse, please call for help. There are NGOs out there who is working to help you.

It is during this time that we can finally understand how those animals kept in zoo, in circus and in slaughter houses might be feeling. We have been thinking we are greatest creature on earth and that nobody can do anything to us. Now an invisible virus is threatening the entire human population. I hope once this lockdown is over, we will be more kind to mother nature and animals.

Hiking @ Broga

I guess it has to take a heartbreak in order for you to move your ass around and finally doing the things that makes you excited. I was keep talking about going hiking to everybody that I know. How nice it is to be in nature and surrounded by trees and greenery?! Most people unfortunately do not understand this. Probably because it takes a lot of effort to climb up and getting sweaty and aching muscles as a result.

I was keep telling my ex that I wanted to go for jungle trekking, to which he kept failing to fulfill with the excuse of busy working schedule. Finally after being single back, my cousin came to rescue me. When you are going through heartbreak, you need to keep yourself busy. Avoid thinking about past. Avoid going back to the very person who don’t deserve you. It is very tough for a person like me. Once I get attached, it takes super long time for me to heal and finally let go of that person.

So thanks to my dear cousin, Hemz who invited me to go to Broga. She is also a nature lover like me who loves hiking. At the back of my mind, I was bombarded with questions. “Am I fit to actually climb up? It has been more than 2 years since I last went for jungle trekking. How if I get dizzy half way?” While my memory recalled how there was once I couldn’t climb up due to not enough energy (I didn’t eat anything heavy, so half way I started to feel dizzy).

But I was more excited than feeling fear. I told myself I’m going. Nobody going to stop me. So my cousin reached my house around 5.30am in the morning. My mum managed to prepare some breakfast for us. We left the house around 6am. By the time we reach Broga, it was about 6.45am.

It was still dark at the time. I saw cars were queuing up to enter carpark, it was a bit jammed in the morning. So I decided to park along the roadside. Thinking I don’t have to pay for parking. But a chinese lady stopped us and asked us to pay RM1 while we were passing the carpark area. We thought it is the entry ticket, hence paid for it and started walking. There were some who were using torchlight. I was glad we only reached at this time because we didn’t bring torchlight. We could still see the path and followed the other people who were going in front of us. After about 10 – 15 minutes, there was another chinese lady collecting money. We thought we could just show our ticket and we will be allowed to go in. But no. This is another RM1. Apparently we are paying for farm. But there isn’t any farm nearby. I asked the lady what is the difference with the payment near the carpark. The lady pretended not to hear my questions and continued collecting money from the people who were queuing up. Having no clear understanding, since it was mentioned by another blogger that they too paid twice and since it was a minimum amount which is just RM1, they paid and hence we too paid. Everybody was paying. Then we continued climbing.

My cousin posing for a picture. We had to queue to climb up because there were a lot of people.

The path was dry and slippery. We had to use our hands to hold some of the trees as we climbed up. There were a lot of rocks along the way and in some places there were ropes to help you to climb up. Since I had low stamina and not fit enough, there were moments I had to sit down to catch my breath. As I was scared that I would start to feel dizzy just like last time. There were others who were also resting like me. After resting about 3 – 5 minutes, I would continue my climb up using the easiest path that we can find.

We took a break to click some picture.

Then we came to a huge rock that will require one person to lift you up. My cousin is thin and small in size, she managed to push herself through a small hole in between the rock and climbed up. She couldn’t lift me up as I’m bigger than her. Not knowing how to go up and there were already a queue behind me and they all shouting “You can do it, climb up!” It is impossible as I don’t strength in my hand to lift my own weight. Then a Malay guy climbed up on his own and helped another girl who was with him. By this time, one Malay guy came down from up. I told this guy that I need help to climb up. So he grasped my hand and pulled me up. Relieved. I thanked him and continue to climb as he continued to help others to climb up. There is another huge rock but this rock comes with a rope. You need to hold this rope to climb up which also required a lot of strength.

Beautiful sunrise view.

Here also we had a Malay girl to help us. She already climbed up and was sitting on the rock. While my cousin and myself try to climb up, she pulled the rope to make it easy for us to climb. I was thankful again. What a tough lady! We reached a few nice spot to take nice pictures. You have to wait for your turn as people will be busy taking selfies and group photos with different angles and styles.

Looking away…

Looking around, there were a lot of people climbing up and down. Definitely will not feel lonely. In few spots, we stopped to take a sip of water and then continued. Along the way, there were a lot of friendly hikers. You can see Malays, Chinese and Indians. Some will motivate you, some will sing song, some will be joking around. Some will wish you good morning while passing by.

After much hassle, with thoughts to stop at second peak as we were getting tired, then we saw the final route to the top of broga. The view at this point looked so refreshing with light green color with long grasses. We took few pictures here before climbing up to the final peak. There were a lot of people up here. You have to queue to take pictures with the peak sign here. We managed to click a picture before deciding to go down as we wanted to avoid hot sun. Broga is not dense with trees, so high chances for you to get burned after 10am. By the time we reach peak, I think it was about 8.30am.

Loved the view here…
We had few seconds only to take picture because there were queues behind. This is me reaching peak of Broga.

Since climbing up the rock was a nightmare, we decided to take another route to go down. This route was tough as well as it was dry and slippery. We had to sit down and slide the way down to avoid falling. Both the palm of my hand looked red and felt as if it is going to be bruised due to the friction against the sand to control myself sliding down. Because I was uncontrollably sliding down and unable to stop if not because of my hand trying to grasp something at the harsh and dry surface. There were no branches to hold on also. You can be assured there were a lot of screaming episodes happened during this phase going down the hill. Actually it was fun. ๐Ÿ˜€

I started to think, next time I should bring gloves to protect my hand. While we were going down, we realized there were much less people using this route. There were a few Indian girls and boys behind us. Then we came to a point where there were one route going down, another going to the right. The route to the right looks like less travelled compared to the one going down. So my cousin and myself decided to slide down again. Only to realize the path coming to bushes, the path not clear, looks like not many people used this way. This doesn’t look like hiking trail. We couldn’t really see the path going down and it is surrounded by a lot of trees. We saw two chinese boys were running this way and went into the bush and disappeared. We looked at each other. Definitely we didn’t feel good going this route as we can’t see any other hikers apart from us, the few indians and the two chinese boys who just disappeared into the bush. We climbed up again and took the other route and continued straight. Then we bumped into other hikers, we found the main route where everybody was using to go down. Relieved and feeling safe, we continued down.

I can assure you both our hands and legs started to feel so much pain. My toes were hurting. I was carefully and slowly putting one by one leg forward. We were so tired. Then we came to a small stall by the same chinese lady who didn’t respond to our questions earlier. She was selling coconuts here. We wanted to buy but she was facing the hikers who were coming down. She couldn’t hear us calling at the back, then after few minutes waiting, we decided we will just buy from the small shop near the entrance.

We bought the most tastiest coconut water ever. It was without any added sugar. It was fresh and the price is very reasonable. It was the most refreshing drinks ever. We were really hungry. Both of us were vegetarians so we could not find any vegetarian food nearby broga. We thought we would eat in Seremban town. So we drove back. It took us about 40 minutes drive to reach Seremban. We wanted to try a new vegetarian restaurant in town but was disappointed as it was closed on Sunday. So we decided to eat at a restaurant just opposite the road. Since we both were very hungry, we decided to take early lunch. We took mix rice (rice, curry and some vege). To our surprise, the food was super tasty. We were wondering if the food was tasty because it is really tasty or is it because we were too hungry.

After having a feast, finally we went back home. The cost for both of us was only about RM9.00. It was cheap and delicious. Basically we both successfully completed our first broga hiking experience. It was worth it and pain followed us after. For the next two days, I could not lift both of my hands. I was having difficulty to walk properly. On the third day, my big toe was hurting so badly that I couldn’t wear cover shoe to work. On the fifth day, everything went back to normal. No more pain.

This hiking happened before movement control was announced due to Covid 19. Now I can only sit at home and watch movies. Hmmm…hopefully can continue hiking again soon.

Ugly ones are lucky

I recently watched a Hindi movie “Chhapaak” featuring Deepika Padukone and Vikrant Massey. The story is about an acid attack survivor fighting to get justice against her attacker in court and how the whole family was affected due to this. This story also has love story. When it comes to Bollywood, it is almost impossible a love story not shown in the storyline. The story depicts how love blossoms between the survivor and the guy who fights against this crime.

It makes me to think how many of us will have a man to love us if we were ugly and looked horrible. Most men comes after us because we have fair and flawless skin, attractive body, sweet voice, looking pretty after wearing all those make up. Some of us are naturally pretty without make up. Some have to rely on make up to make us look pretty. For those who were naturally dark skin have to use all kind of products to bleach the skin so that they too can look attractive.

I am yet to find one man who can look at me beyond how I look physically. I was born fair but naturally turn dark as I grow. I used to question my mum how my skin color changed when in the baby picture, I was looking fair. Growing up, my siblings were fairer to me. They used to tease me for being dark. Sometimes when relatives visit home, they questioned what happened to me as I was looking even darker due to playing sports at school. I used to feel inferior and compare myself to everyone who is looking fairer and prettier. Not forgetting some of my friends who mocked me they couldn’t see me in dark.

Thanks to fair and lovely, a product that I never forget to use in hope that one day my skin will be fair and I will be accepted by my peers. I never really liked disturbed by males, so I made no effort to actually look pretty when I was younger. Even the slightest effort to tie my hair differently will be noticed by my mum and I will immediately stop changing anything if I were questioned. But one thing I really liked, was the attire. I loved dressing up, wear something nice and look confident.

I thought I don’t like attention until I was working and started to do some drastic changes in my diet. In 2014, I was working in a local bank. Initially when I joined, I paid little attention on how I looked. Then I joined a health and fitness club near my workplace, I changed my diet and followed a new routine. I was encouraged to trim my eyebrows and change some of my outfits. Within a week I took this diet, my skin started to look healthy, fairer and radiant. A male colleague who always flirt with other female colleagues, suddenly started to notice me. I was always there. But this time he noticed because I started to look more attractive to him.

Even managers started to notice me and soon you can say I was famous in that office. Why all these happens? Purely because of physical reason. The same thing happen when I changed job and met someone with whom I fell in love with and the interest was mutual. He was definitely into me because of how I looked. If I were ugly, he wouldn’t even have noticed me because I’m talking about a good looking man who knows how to flatter a women. Even when I got into a relationship with someone who seems like one kind of psycho, this guy also into me because of how I looked.

I didn’t like arrange marriage because number one criteria the family will be looking for will be how the girl look like. Is she tall or short, thin or fat, dark or fair, etc? I didn’t have a single marriage proposal that they want to know me as a person first and know my character. It is all physical.

I feel jealous of a woman whose physical is destroyed by some sort of accident or attack but they found a man who really loved them beyond of their physical look. These women are really lucky. Yes, they might be receiving all kind of weird look from people around them but they have true love. They have someone to love them unconditionally.

This is a reality in this world. If you are pretty, you will be noticed easily. If you are not, then you need something in order for people to notice you. Courage, knowledge and self confidence are some of the traits needed for people to notice you. But beware of physical attraction. Because once the attraction fades and the body loses its beauty, what is left is only the inner self. If the relationship is purely on physical, the relationship may not last long. The challenge is to find someone who is really into you, into your soul. Will I ever be able to find someone who is into my soul? Only time can reveal.

The number one EXCUSE we ever give to ourselves which is causing us a good fortune

We have always given all sort of excuses as to why we can’t or unable to do certain things. Clean that cupboard – I am busy. Do some exercise – I am busy. Read that book – I am busy. Work on your side business – I am busy. We have been so busy doing everything and anything and always give the excuse I am busy, hence I don’t have the time.

Right now, we have been forced to sit at home. There is plenty of time available and guess what! I am still not doing the thing I wanted to do all these while. I wanted to finish reading story books on my bookshelf, I wanted to finish reading a management book, I wanted to work on my little garden and grow vegetables, I wanted to finish writing my short story which is still pending there for months or shall I say years. But I’m not doing anything. I’m still wasting my time on either Facebook, Whatsapp, and Youtube. I can no longer give the excuse that I’m just tired after work or I’m just busy with other important thing because I don’t have any other important thing to do now.

After more than a week stuck at home, I have started to analyze my own reasoning. Am I really interested to do the thing I wanted to do? Why am I not doing it? I have come to a conclusion. It is basically pure LAZINESS! I am just lazy and lack of motivation to actually start doing it. Another main reason for this will be I WILL DO IT LATER ATTITUDE! I just love to postpone things. And then I will completely forget to do it. This is one of the reason why I started to create daily to do list for my work. I have shared a template for it before, if you haven’t check it out, please click here.

So time is not really an excuse. Time has always been there. It is the self to be blamed. And how do I help myself to come out of this excuses? How do I get myself to do more and reach the goals I have set for myself? I do not have a personal coach to push myself. Plus I don’t like anybody pushing me to do things. I would rather do things at my own pace. How am I going to achieve my goals if I don’t push myself? Is my goals not exciting enough to reach? I am looking at other people and see how successful they are. Thousands of followers, some of them even win some awards for bringing positive changes in people lives, they show their skills of doing certain things like make up, being a model, creating videos and showing their acting skills and many more. And what am I good at? I think I’m pretty good with writing (with hope to write better than now) but yet I’m still not writing enough.

Three years back, I created this blog with the aim of following my own passion. I have written something about finding your passion (If you haven’t read it yet, you can read it here). I was hoping to slowly to start earning income through blogging and eventually do this blog full time. But I realized it is not an easy thing to do because I find that writing is a form of healing for me and I want to write something that makes me happy. But in order to monetize a blog, we are encouraged to focus on specific niche so you will attract readers who are interested and they keep coming back for more to read in your blog. But I have different ideas and want to write about so many things that is happening in my life. I want to share something that might be helpful for another person who is also going through problems like me. I want to encourage people to be who they are. Probably due to my inability to stick to specific niche and also due to inconsistent writing, I still haven’t figure it how to start earning through this blog. Some of the terms in blogging world still seems alien to me like SEO, I still haven’t figure it out. But I have learnt how to organize my blog, how to insert links, how to find for free images in wordpress, etc. Every time I write, I am learning. I am working on my passion. Still a long way to go. Probably after 5 years, my blog will be famous. I am yet to write one viral post that will draw readers to my blog. Another possible reason will be I’m not paying to promote my blog. For some weird reason, I still prefer for people to discover my blog on their own and come back to read my blog on their own. Did you roll your eyes? *wink*

Now since I already know that “busy”, “I don’t have the time” and “I will do it later” is just a lie I give to myself to avoid doing the things that matter to me. I have to find a way to actually start doing things instead of just thinking about it in my head. How about you? What are your excuses? Is there something that you always wanted to do but never have the time to do it? Probably this is the best time to actually start doing it. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you would like to read my previous posts, please click here.

Time to slow down for self reflection

I think at the moment, most of the countries around the world have gone into lockdown or practice movement control among the citizens. We are all trying to save ourselves from the deadly virus. Here, in Malaysia, the government has started movement control order for the citizens in order to protect us. Now already one week has passed since this order has been placed.

The initial stage I was trying so hard to warn or remind whoever in my contact or in social media to stay at home and avoid crowded places because this virus is so deadly and can kill anyone with weak immunity. I forwarded tons of post in a day and felt so frustrated because there are so many people out there who don’t understand a simple instruction or probably refused to follow order for whatever reason they have. Even the educated one refused to follow by saying all kind of reasons.

After a week, I feel tired. I no longer feel the need to scroll the FB newsfeed constantly. I open Instagram, only to close it shortly after because I no longer find anything to be interesting anymore. I feel like loss of appetite to eat. Not wanting to sleep either. I finally started reading a book today. A book about betrayal. About the pain of betrayal if we are the victim and how to look for sign if someone about to betray us. How sometimes we ignore the signs and keep forgiving a person because we ourselves are feeling insecure and how we might try to be a hero by trying to save someone. I just glanced through the book, read about interesting stories mentioned in the book and just tried to absorb some main points as I find it a bit difficult to keep my attention too long on it.

I’m not writing to share what is written in that book. Rather I feel I want to go into self reflection. What is it that I’m thinking. How am I going to survive in the next few months looking at the current situation. What is going to happen to our country and what is going to happen to the world? We are in crisis now. Businesses are going downhill. People are dying. We are literally in a war with virus. The human race is trying to save itself from this deadly virus. Whether this virus is created by human or not, I see this as a way to pay back to mother nature and all those animals we have tortured and killed all these while without mercy.

More and more videos are emerging on social media to show how China’s citizen has mercilessly tortured and killed animals and some are eaten alive. It is so sickening to watch and I feel that these humans deserve the same kind of death. Not only in China, other countries also kill animals mercilessly. Animals living at livestock are also killed mercilessly. They are being killed so that they can be ended up in our plate. We are also part of this cruelty, some of us directly involved and some of us indirectly involved. I feel it is now the time to payback for all our sins. We are living in fear, for fear of death. Just like how these animals were living in fear waiting to be slaughtered.

Even though I want to help to save people from dying, I want to scream to people to stay at home and save yourself, I realized some people are just meant to be outside there. Maybe they are just meant to go through this suffering and if not strong enough, to die. So many warnings have been given out to public, it is like the God of Death is standing in front of you and reminding you to save yourself, otherwise you would lose your life and your loved ones but there are people out there ignoring these signs. Maybe it is supposed to be in this way. It is meant for people to catch this virus. It is meant for humans to lose everything. It is meant for humans to learn from the mistake, a graveyard mistake. Will human realize or they will again continue to ignore this warning? This is not the first time such virus appears. It has always infected humans before. Only thing is now it has come back much stronger to the extent that the entire world is forced to sit at home and quarantine themselves.

I have started practicing gratitude a while back and reminded myself that today could be my last day breathing in this body and that tomorrow I may not be alive. I tell myself to be grateful for what I have today. Sometimes I forget to remind myself about this. Sitting here I feel the surrounding has become quiet. There is not much noise. Only the radio is playing in my living room. And the air noise from the fan hitting directly on my face. I feel the world is slowing down. I feel like I’m back to my school holidays when I’m at home for almost one and half month waking up late and watching cartoons.

I started to miss my office where there were telephones ringing from time to time and the laughter of my colleagues. I started to miss fighting, arguing and laughing with my colleagues. I started to miss going out to meet my customers and talking to them and showing them around and closing a business deal. I started to miss going out and walking in shopping complex and having a good meal. I even started to miss my ex. All the fights and arguments. How if suddenly he dies from this virus? Will I be affected? I just feel like want to end all types of conflicts with everyone and apologize for any wrongdoing whether knowingly or unknowingly. I just don’t want to carry the burden to next life.

All these while I was worrying of finding the right life partner and about marriage. Now it has become insignificant as I’m more focused into surviving and saving myself and loved ones. I believe I have to focus more on having the right thoughts and positive mindset in order to survive. Look into the future. How I see my life. Do I see myself suffering or living a great life? We have always encountered problem in life and we have always somehow managed to come out of it. Help comes out of nowhere in way that we never expect. Let’s be hopeful for tomorrow.

This is a time for self reflection. This is a time to change. This is a time to find where we have been doing wrong and change to be a better person. This is the time to be grateful. Grateful for this time. We have a long time given to us to discover ourselves. A long time to connect with our family. A time to serve the people. A time to determine what is actually important.

Gratitude Chain / Week 2

Everything that is happening around me preparing me for something greater. I am ready to face any challenges that comes. I solve problems easily. Things become better. I surround myself with people who brings out my best. Life is great. Thank you. I’m grateful for this amazing life. I attract great things to my life.

I am the best. I attract abundance into my life. My life is great. Everyday new exciting things happen around me. I am grateful for all the beautiful dress that I own. Thank you for providing me everything that I ever need. I attract the best person into my life. I am surrounded with great people and great achievers. Thank you.

Thank you for the food and water I had today. I am blessed.

I am grateful to have the time to spend with my loved one today. Thank you.

I am grateful to have fresh air to breathe. Thank you nature.

I am grateful to have perfect partner who understand my needs and takes great care of me. I am also able to understand my partner’s need. We have great relationship. Thank you universe.

I have ample of time to read and expand my knowledge. Thank you for the time to do activity that I love doing. I am blessed.

Note : Sometimes we forget that we have what others wish to have. We are constantly thinking about what we donโ€™t have and attract things that we donโ€™t want to have. This gratitude chain has been created so that I am being reminded about the blessings I do have in my life. At the same time, I wish to remind you to be grateful too so that you can attract all the best things in life. Join me in this chain. Do comment what are you being grateful and share to your friends.

Gratitude Chain / Week 1

I am grateful for this amazing life. I am breathing. I have a place to stay and meals to eat. I am blessed to do a job that I love the most. Everything comes easy to me. Thank you Universe!

I am grateful for this peaceful life. Life is amazing. With caring family and amazing friends. Every person that I meet brings so much joy to me. I learn so much from different people everyday.

I am grateful for the harmonious relationship that exist around me. People who are in my circle are people who are positive themselves & they inspire change. I learn from these people everyday. Thank you universe for surrounding me with amazing & talented people.

Iโ€™m grateful for every opportunity I get to network & meet new people every day. I am learning with great leaders & tapping into their mind on how they get things done or achieve things. People loves me wherever I go. I love getting compliments & attention.

I am blessed to have off days where I can spend time with myself. Time to spend with family. Time to work on my writing and blog. Thank you, thank you and thank you. I am blessed. I am happy. I am content. I am love. May more good things come my way.

I attract all great things in life. Money, love, health all coming for me. I am blessed. I am healthy. I am loved. Thank you, thank you and thank you. I am blessed.

I always attract and able to confirm any businesses that come my way. The universe is set to help me out all the time. Thank you. I am always lucky and attract the best things in life. Thank you.

Note : Sometimes we forget that we have what others wish to have. We are constantly thinking about what we donโ€™t have and attract things that we donโ€™t want to have. This gratitude chain has been created so that I am being reminded about the blessings I do have in my life. At the same time, I wish to remind you to be grateful too so that you can attract all the best things in life. Join me in this chain. Do comment what are you being grateful and share to your friends.

The Power of First Impression

“Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder”! How do we define beauty? By seeing their color, height, shape, etc right? Some will see beauty based on their character. Most people will definitely vote based on appearance first, then only character. Do you agree with me?

I realized something today. As I was waiting for my number to be called at a local bank near my hometown, a lady approached me. She is one of the staff working at the bank. “Madam, are you waiting for your number? You should go upstairs later as the counter will be there. You can wait here since there is no available seats upstairs.” “Yes, I am aware. Thank you!” I replied to her and watched her walking away. Errr… did she call me Madam? Hmmm I like it. Probably because of my attire. I was wondering why there is always some sort of difference in the way people treat me. I suddenly realized there are times people don’t even bother about me and there are times people give me so much respect. What made them to see and treat me in certain way, I thought.

It all comes down to how you dress up. You dress up smartly and elegantly, people show respect to you. If I were to wear a jeans with a shirt, and a slipper, definitely I would have been called “Dik” (sister) or “Miss” or maybe nobody would have bothered about me and let me wait there like an idiot (worst case).

Whether we like it or not, somehow we all have been wired in this way. The only person will be respected in jeans and t-shirt will be famous people whose face is recognized. Like Bill Gates or Shah Rukh Khan. For the rest of us, the only way to get a little respect probably by the way we dressed up. Don’t you think so?

There is this famous post (which all of you must have seen in insta or FB) which shows it is better to have extra money in cheap handbag rather than wearing a Gucci handbag with no money inside. I think people take pride by showing to people what they have and can afford. I think there is nothing wrong in this. As long as they are not too proud and arrogant that they forget that their feet is still on land.

My point of writing this post is that you can always impress people by improving the way you dress up. One way is definitely by having heavy “pockets”. If not, improve on your looks and dress. Here are few tips on how you can improve your first impressions:

1. Buy high quality products

Do you ever realized that cheap products don’t last long? Instead of buying several times in a year, why not spending more once but use the products for few year. People definitely can notice the difference in a RM20 clothes compared to RM120 worth of clothes. Trust me it will last long and it will be definitely worth your money.

2. The color of your clothes must suit your skin tone

Do you ever realized that we appear more cheerful in certain colors and dull in certain colors? Ask for feedback from your friends and colleagues on what color suits you best. If you ever get compliments on certain attire, take note on the details like color, type of material, etc. If you are fair skin, most dark colors will suit you. If you are dark skin, use more soft and bright colors. Like for me, colors like certain shades of blue and dark green doesn’t suit me at all. I have tried to use it but I didn’t really like how it makes me feel. I avoid these colors totally.

3. Use dark clothes to appear slimmer

I think everybody knows this. Dark color like black will definitely makes you look slimmer.

4. Your shoes is very important

Who said people won’t look at your shoes? Invest in one good pair of shoes. I always admire men with good shoes. I know some women in my circles who pay more attention to their husband’s shoes because it is very important for good impression. For ladies, especially if they have a good pair of heels, will just make me keep looking at their heels. I remember catching my ex-boss (who is a lady) watching me standing in heels and I think she must be admiring it because of the color and how confident I was wearing it. So for ladies, if you are using heels or “open toes” shoes, it would be better if you do a good pedicure with suitable colors. I have gotten compliments on this. *wink* Actually this will make you feel good and more confident.

5. Find your own style

Some men will look good in jeans and plain shirt. Some will look good in office attire. Some ladies look good in traditional attire whereas some look good in modern dress. Find one suitable style for you. Do you ever realize that the same dress will look too good on one person but awful on another? This is because everybody has different body curve and one should wear clothes based on their body curve. If you are not sure, ask your closest friend whom you can trust will give you honest feedback. Please don’t ask that one person who will compliment everything you wear because they are just afraid of telling the truth.

6. Wear a good, stylish watch

If possible, try to invest in a good watch if you are person who loves to wear a watch. Especially if you do meet a lot of people and wants to influence people positively towards you. I haven’t invest in one but it is definitely in wish list. *wink*

So here are few main things that I think will impress people. Because I have done it myself, I have seen other people doing it and I am sure this will work. Try this experiment and see how people treat you. I can understand some people might argue that this shouldn’t be the way, people should be respected no matter who they are. Unfortunately, let’s face reality. Appearance does play a huge role no matter what type of job you are doing. Even if you are doing own business, you will boost your own credibility by changing how you dress up. Your appearance is very important! Plan your wardrobe starting today and start to impress people. ๐Ÿ™‚

P.s If you do like my writing, hit that share button and help more people to discover my blog. Thank you for your help. ๐Ÿ™‚

Daily List To Do – Free Template

Do you find yourself unable to focus at job? You have so many things to do but not sure where to start and how to start? You waste time just thinking but not doing anything productive? I have a solution for you. The trick is writing down your task and monitor the progress. I have created a simple daily to do list template for myself to monitor my work and I find myself more organized.

At the end of the day, you just wants to know how much you have accomplished for the day. This is one easy template for you. Try it out and let me know your thoughts on this.

Click here to download the template

Preview : High Priority Task For The Day
Preview : Medium Priority Task For The Day
Preview : Low Priority Task For The Day

5 Things That Your Girlfriend Wants From You

Women can be a confusing creature. One time they want one thing and another time, they want something else. But after reading this, you will know for sure that this is not going wrong again. Are you ready to find out the truth? Quickly read this.

1.Attention

Number one thing a woman craves from you will be your attention. She would expect you to remember her even when you are busy working. A simple text message to remind her how much you love her or miss her would mean the world to her. Remember to send at least two to three message in a day to show her that you really care for her and thinking about her. No message means she is not that important to you and you have other important things to do including texting someone else. You could have texted her in the morning when you wake up. Or quick text during lunch. Let’s assume you have been really busy during the day. Then text her at least a goodnight message. It takes less than a minute to show that you care.

2.Outing routine

Every woman would love to go out and spend time with their loved ones. It could be a dinner for just the two of you. Or a lunch after watching a movie. Or simply walking along the beach holding hands and eating ice cream. You know your work schedule better than anyone. For sure you know your girlfriend’s work schedule too. At least have an outing once a week. If you are on a tight budget, then just go for window shopping. The most important thing is you are spending time with her.

3.Thoughtful gifts

Who said you should only buy a gift when it is your girlfriend’s birthday. You can buy something that you know she would have mentioned in the conversation. Maybe she mentioned that she likes chocolate. Or flowers. Or sneakers. It doesn’t have to be costly to show your love. When you buy someone a gift, that gift will remind them of you as long as they keep them.

4.Be there when she needs you

Things can go wrong. The tyre can be punctured. She could have missed the last bus and stranded somewhere. She might be going through some loss right now. Maybe her boss scolded her and she is feeling down and needed someone to tell her that everything will be ok. All she needs is a hug to calm her down. Sometimes she might be putting up a face that she is all ok. But still hug her and reassure her that everything will be ok.

5.Be better than her

If you are doing less than her in terms of studies, work or in life, try to work harder and do better than her. She wants to see that you are really working hard to provide everything that she needs. Don’t be a man who seek support from your girlfriend. She has to pay your bills. She has to pay for your food. She is the one who has to help you all the time. If you are someone who is less fortunate than others (have some sort of disability), then it is okay. But you are not, then buckle up!

Try this methods to keep your girlfriend happy and see for yourself how she responds to you. Do comment below if these methods work for you. Good Luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Hold It

Sometimes we simply rush in

Assuming things that never happened

Making quick decisions

When emotions run amok

Learn to hold it

Give time some time

Give people some time

For the truth to be revealed

When angry, best to keep quiet

When irritated, go far away

Shift focus into something else

Remember the good times

Learn to be patient

Hold words before speaking

Give a break to our thoughts

Hey, it might not be what you think it is!

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

01.11.2019

 

Source of Image : iStock

When people tell me I should be positive…

Do people tell you this? Well, sometimes people around me tell me this. And I get irritated when I hear that. The reason for this is sometimes I don’t even know why I’m getting irritated or angry or sad. I tend to mumble to release the stress I am facing or simply lash out on someone closest to me. I try to think what could be the reason for this. Overwhelming work which has to be done in short span of time. Not getting response on time. Repetition. Laziness. Phone addiction. Not knowing if I’m making the right decision or bad decision. Fear of the unknown. Lack of trust. And the list can go on.

I do believe in positive thinking. I do try to think positive. Sometimes I share positive stuff so that it can also help other people. But is it possible to be positive all the time? It is not possible. There are times I just feel like screaming at someone and release all the emotions building in my heart. Like now, I decided to write it out in order to divert my mind from thinking too much.

I think it is okay to cry if you are not feeling okay. It is okay if you share your feelings to someone closest to you whom you trust. Whether you are a man or woman, we all need to share our burdens to someone. It is okay to show to people that you are not happy. It is okay to have some alone time. It is okay to feeling down. It is okay to feel heavy.

Being negative all the time is a definitely NO-NO! All the time crying, depressed, talking negative about everything and everyone. If this is the case, then you definitely need to counsel professional to get help. There are news where people who looked happy and seems to have everything in life ended up committing suicide for whatever reason they have. Depression is real. It is affecting more people than it is shown statistically.

Find a way to help yourself. For myself, writing is healing. Gardening is healing. Listening to music is healing. Going to nature is healing. Avoiding social media and mobile phone is healing. Meditation is healing. Exercising is healing. Heart to heart conversation with a closest friend is healing. Wrong way to help yourself is by getting addicted to drugs, smoking, sleeping around with multiple partners, gambling and any other activity that could cause you a fortune.

Being negative is just a reminder that it is time to work myself internally and go within. To find the root cause what is it making me unhappy.

A fruit a day for 20 days

This is a continuous post from A fruit a day for 10 days. I decided to break the post into three different post so that it is not too long and also to give myself some time for writing. I will write only 10 fruits that you can include in your daily meals in this post. If you wish to know the previous information I have posted, please click here (A fruit a day for 10 days). So let’s see what other fruits that you can take daily and their benefits.

grapesDay 11 : Grapes

Benefits : Contains fiber, potassium, Vitamin C and K. Good for bones, anti cancer. May improve memory, mood and attention. Helps to slow down aging and promote longevity.

 

papayaDay 12 : Papaya

Benefits : Contains Vitamin C, A and fiber. Powerful antioxidant. Has anticancer properties. May improve heart health. Good for constipation, bloating and irritable bowel syndrome. Help to keep skin youthful.

 

guavaDay 13 : Guava

Benefits : Rich in antioxidant, Vitamin C, potassium and fiber. Helps to lower down blood sugar level, heart health and boost immunity. Aid healthy bowel movement and prevent constipation. Helps in weight loss and good for skin.

 

Day mangosteen14 : Mangosteen

Benefits : Contains vitamins, minerals and fiber. Powerful antioxidant. Anti-cancer. Promotes weight loss, healthy immune system, healthy skin.

Do consult your doctor before taking this fruit if you are taking any medication and if you are pregnant.

 

orangeDay 15 : Orange

Benefits : Made up of carbs, water and fiber. Rich in Vitamin C. May prevent kidney stone formation. May prevent anemia if taken with iron-rich food. Avoid oranges if you have symptoms of heartburn.

 

PeachDay 16 : Peach

Benefits : High in fiber, vitamins and minerals. Helps in healthy digestion, improve heart health and protects skin against sun damage. May boost immunity.

 

 

blackberriesDay 17 : Blackberries

Benefits : Rich in Vitamin C, K, fiber and manganese. Helps to reduce heavy menstrual bleeding and avoid blood in the urine/stool. Promotes healthy bone development. Helps to prevent osteoporosis. May improve brain health and prevent memory loss.

 

jackfruit1.jpg

Day 18 : Jackfruit

Benefits : Contains fiber, vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. Helps in blood sugar control, reduce risk of viral infections, improve skin health. May help in stomach ulcers and asthma.

Some might be allergic to this fruit.

 

kiwiDay 19 : Kiwi

Benefits : Contains Vitamin C, K, E, potassium and fiber. May help to treat asthma, good for digestion, boost immune system and manage blood pressure. Reduces risk of colon cancer. Protects against vision loss and blood clotting.

Some might be allergic to this fruit.

 

 

blueberriesDay 20 : Blueberries

Benefits : High in fiber, Vitamin C and K. King of antioxidant among all food. Reduce aging and helps to prevent cancer. Good for heart. Improve memory. Anti-diabetic. Help to reduce urinary tract infection (UTI).

 

So here we are with 20 different fruit choices that we can include in our daily diet. Let’s choose to eat healthily and improve our overall health. Especially if you are vegetarian or vegan, it is a must to include these fruits, otherwise you might suffer from deficiency of certain vitamins and minerals.

 

A fruit a day for 10 days

Do you know that we have so many different fruits that exist in the market that we can eat and never get bored eating them? If you are vegetarian like me, you will know how frustrated it is to get proper meal and how it feels like having incomplete meals. So I decided to list it down for myself and for you as well so that we can eat healthier. Here are 10 different fruits which you can include in your daily meals :-

Day 1 : APRICOTApricot

Benefits : Contain Vitamin A, C & E, potassium, high in antioxidant. Good for eye, skin, gut and liver.

 

 

 

avocadoDay 2 : Avocado

Benefits : Include 20 different vitamins and minerals, rich in fiber. Good for eye, can help to lose weight.

 

 

 

lemon.jpgDay 3 : Lemon

Benefits : Contains Vitamin C. Good for skin, helps in digestion, weight loss and help to prevent kidney stone.

 

 

lychee.jpgDay 4 : Lychee

Benefits : Contains protein and fiber. Helps in weight loss, improve digestion and defend body against viruses.

 

 

 

limeDay 5 : Lime

Benefits : Contains calcium, potassium and Vitamin C. Helps in digestion, weight loss, improve skin and help to prevent kidney stones.

 

 

durian1Day 6 : Durian

Benefits : High in fiber, anti aging. Helps in digestion, reduce bloating & heartburn, improve bone health.

 

 

 

 

longan @ mata kucing.jpgDay 7 : Longan

Benefits : Contains potassium, Vitamin C, magnesium, phosphorous and B Vitamin. Good for skin, anti aging, improve sleep quality, helps in vision, memory and promotes weight loss.

 

banana.jpgDay 8 : Banana

Benefits : High in Vitamin B6, Vitamin C, fibre and manganese. Good for skin, blood pressure, helpsย  in ulcer, constipation, heartburn, improve kidney health.

 

mango.jpgDay 9 : Mango

Benefits : High in fibre, Vitamin A & C. Helps to boost immunity, digestive health, helps in eye health, improve hair and skin health.

 

 

grapefruitDay 10 : Grapefruit

Benefits : Contains 15 vitamins & minerals. Helps in immune system, good for weight loss, improve heart health, may prevent kidney stones.

Consult your doctor before taking this fruit as it might have adverse effect when taken with certain medications.

 

Some fruits like bananas and lemon can be taken daily. If you do have any illness or serious health problem, please consult your doctor before consuming these fruits.

Signs Of Interest

Sometimes we keep searching

For some clue

Whether or not

Someone likes us

 

Google becomes our best friend

Trying to understand human behaviour

Does he like me?

Why did he do that?

 

We get excited

When most of it shows

That our crush likes us

Otherwise our glance wouldnโ€™t meet?

 

A man can show all the signs

That how great he is

That how gentle he is

But he might be putting up a show

 

A man can do all the right thing

Say all the right thing

Only until he gets what he wants

Only until he gets some benefits

 

Try refuse a little

Suddenly he is found nowhere

That is a sign

How much of a fool you have been

 

A man can bring you to his parents

A man can spend thousands on you

A man can find time despite busy schedule

But this doesnโ€™t guarantee anything

 

Donโ€™t be deceived

Be clever and think

But sometimes our own experience

Is the best teacher of all

 

Sometimes we canโ€™t avoid

Being fooled

We have to learn the hard way

A sign of interest may be a trick

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

24.07.2019

Better Me

Pain is definite

No one can escape

If today Iโ€™m happy

Tomorrow I might not

Different people come

Give different experience

Some make me happy

Others make me suffer

Sometimes innocence

Becomes my greatest

Reason for downfall

But is it really downfall?

Selfishness everywhere

Some donโ€™t care

How their action

Affects other people

Some look for

Every opportunity

To take advantage

For their own benefit

Life presents to me

Two different choice

Drown in sadness

Or rise despite fall

I have to pass

Different exam

If I fail

Retake the exam

If yesterday

I was good

Today I want to

Be a better version

Someone who is

Smart, classy and elegant

Good hearted

And successful

I want to come back

Stronger than ever

Smarter than ever

Good hearted than ever

No bad experience

Can make me

Into a bitter version

Am I born to be bitter?

Noโ€ฆ

I am born to be better

I am born to be happy

I am born to be smiling

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

24.07.2019

Independent

You cannot live alone

You must stay with a man

The society will look badly at you

If you don’t have a man

You need a companion

To help you during bad times

To avoid being lonely

You must find a man

Quarrelling and fighting

Is part and parcel of life

Today you fight

Tomorrow you will be fine

But is this true

Will I get help during bad times

Will I not feel lonely

If I have a man

I want to break free

From the cages I’m in

I want to fly high

Spread my wings

I want to do what I want to do

I want no objection

I want peaceful life

I want to stand on my own feet

I want to save myself

I want to be my own companion

I want to crown myself

I want to love myself

I want to make myself a priority

I want to be a queen of my life

I don’t want to be a slave

I want to be independent

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

16.07.2019

Blame

It is easy to blame

Everyone and everything

Sometimes even God

For things we couldn’t get

 

We couldn’t get that ice cream

We blamed our parents

We couldn’t achieve good marks

We blamed our teachers

 

We couldn’t get that promotion

We blamed our boss

Our friend get promoted first

We talked bad behind them

 

We missed that plane

We blamed the traffic

We arrived late to the interview

We blamed the train

 

The weather getting hotter

We blamed the sun

No water supply for days

We blamed the rain

 

We cannot get our dream education

We blamed the government

We cannot get a loan

We blamed the bank

 

We keep blaming

For one thing or another

We blamed everyone and everything

Except our own self

 

Are we not responsible for our own life

Are we not supposed to work to improve our life

We blamed others and circumstances for years

But did anything change to improve our life

 

Swallow the hard pill

We are responsible for our life

Don’t depend on external circumstances

To give what we want

 

Take ownership of our life

Good or bad, we have to stand for ourselves

If things gone wrong, find a way to fix it

Don’t just sit in a corner and keep blaming

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

24.07.2019

Day 42 – The Process of Healing

I couldn’t write everyday due to work commitment and other things which needed my immediate attention. Therefore I have to take a long jump from Day 2 to Day 42. I definitely feel better now. I have taken few steps to make myself feel better. So I’m going to share with you what I did in my journey to heal myself.

1. Make myself completely busy

I think situation was just helping me to pull this through because I had so much work piling up to the extent that I do not really have time to think about past. I made myself busy even during the weekends with new activity.

2. Gardening

Do you know gardening is actually healing? I have started buying small flower pots and taking care of them. Watering them everyday and checking if they are okay. Seeing flowers bloom makes me feel happy. Currently I have 4 different plants at home and I also started to plant vegetables for cooking. Checking them everyday to see how much they have grown. Check why they wilt and turn yellow. My parents are also helping me to grow my little garden. ๐Ÿ™‚

3. Fountain

I bought a fountain to be placed in our home. When I saw this fountain in a shop during one of my work trip, I immediately felt a sense of calm and decided to buy it. It is a beautiful deity statue and symbolizes family. I remember reading how fountain can help to reduce stress. It is really helping me to reduce stress and I believe it is helping me to heal myself. But I found out something interesting. My parents are old now but they still quarrels a lot. After I placed the fountain in our home, I realized my parents have reduced quarrelling. My father seems to be less irritated with my mum and vice versa.

According to my mum, she feels that it is because she was away for few weeks staying with my sister and taking care of her baby. Maybe during this time, he realized how lonely it is without my mum and reduced arguing with her. But for me, I feel it is because of the fountain. I cannot say for sure though. If you would like to give it a try, please do so. But keeping fountain at home comes with certain rules and certain location to get maximum benefits. Putting it wrongly may result in negative outcome. Kindly do some research before doing this. ๐Ÿ™‚

4. Meditation

I do take some time away to sit down quietly and meditate with a soft music. I found some soft music with a length of less than 10 minutes in youtube and downloaded for offline. I try to sit for meditation for that duration, if I feel like I want to do that on repeat, I repeat the music. Spending time with self allows me to think what is good for me and not good and allows for my intuition to speak up.

5. Spending time with family

I spend more time sitting in the hall and have little conversation with my mum. Or watching Tamil drama together with my parents (I have no choice since both are hooked in the drama and I’m also getting influenced by them). Or talking with my sister and her baby via video call. Seeing funny things that our little man doing definitely uplift my spirit and put a smile on my face.

6. Volunteering

I wanted to take part in some volunteering work just to fill in my free time during weekends. The law of attraction has been working well for me because it delivers what I ask for. Sometimes a little late but it always delivers. So I got an opportunity to take part as a speaker/facilitator in one of the programme designed to help Indian students in our community. We have to teach them some moral values and virtues so that they grow up and become a better person which is clearly lacking in current technology era. It is not exactly volunteering because it comes with a pay. But I would do it even if I’m not paid for it because I have been looking to do something like this. This is a way I feel I can give back to the society through my knowledge and skills.

7. Considering ex to be dead

I know it is a bit weird but I’m doing this. I read a comment in one of a youtube video where someone shared that they are coping up with break up or bad relationship by considering that person to be dead. I thought this is interesting. I cannot be in contact with someone who is already dead, right? I can only have the memory but not this person anymore. So I decided to take only good memory and consider this person to be dead.

8. Celebrating for each week passed with no contact

I started to set an alarm on my phone for 1 week. I decided to celebrate my achievement each week that passed with no contact with my ex. This is to stop myself from accepting or going back to the person that I’m trying to forget. Overcoming attachment is tough. But you shouldn’t go back or accept someone who have proved themselves to you that they are not worthy of your love. Especially when you know for real that this is never going to work, then the wise thing to do is to stop it. My weakness with this is I tend to think maybe there is a little chance for this person to change and maybe I should give them another chance. That I shouldn’t give up hope on this person. This kind of thinking will make me to reach out to that person that I’m trying to forget. So I find that this is a brilliant way to stop reaching out, consider them to be DEAD and celebrate!

So far this is what I have been doing and I am feeling better and I have accepted the fact that it is over and gracefully moving on. I want to live happily and make today a memorable one. ๐Ÿ™‚

Self respect

If there is any one person

In this world

Who should give me respect

It is none other than myself

When I give myself the respect

I will think twice to do anything

That will put me down

That will embarrass me

When I give myself the respect

I will look high on me

I will have high expectation on me

I will want to do the best for me

When I give myself the respect

I don’t allow anyone to disrespect me

I don’t allow anyone to misuse me

I don’t allow anyone to step on me

If I ever disrespect myself

I should stop it right there

Remember nobody will respect me

If I disrespect myself

Sometimes in my life

I may make mistakes

I am only human

I can’t escape from mistakes

Never go down too much for others

Once, twice, thrice

If I still don’t get the respect

Quietly I leave

Ten years down the road

When I recall the past

I will be glad that

I never lose my self respect

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

11.06.2019

Why can’t vegetarian eat egg?

I am a vegetarian. I decided to go for vegetarian diet in July 2009 just before I joined University to continue my studies. Why I became vegetarian? You will find the answer here (Being vegetarian)

I knew I didn’t want to eat meat. I didn’t like eating onion or garlic, I stopped eating onion and garlic. I didn’t eat egg because there was a debate whether egg came from chicken first or chicken came from egg first. Whichever came first, it didn’t matter to me because that egg eventually will become a chicken. Or maybe it will be injected with something so that it will never become a chicken. This was my understanding back then and I decided not to take egg into my diet. And also I was active in spiritual line at that time, I was told not to take egg, so I followed.

Somewhere in the year of 2016, I found out something interesting but didn’t really bother to think about it at that time. There was a chinese vegetarian shop where I used to buy breakfast and lunch at my workplace. The lady who was also the owner of the shop was very friendly. If she was not busy, normally I would take some time to have a chat with her. One day, I noticed she was selling egg on a separate plate. I was curious and asked her why is she selling egg when vegetarian mostly don’t take egg. She told that some people considered egg is vegetarian because these eggs will never become a chicken. She mentioned something about fertilized egg and unfertilized egg which I didn’t really care to understand back then.

Why now this question pops up in my head? Well, there were quite a number of people who told me to leave vegetarianism so that I could get a “husband” easily. It will also be convenient for the family to cook for me and also for me to cook for them. I was like why should I change just for the sake of someone accepting me into their family. I didn’t choose to become vegetarian because someone told me to do so or for some religious purpose. I became vegetarian because I don’t want those animals to be killed and now there is no way anyone going to change my diet just because I want them to accept me.

Then, I remembered another story where one of my former colleague shared with me. She was a vegetarian. Her husband became vegetarian for her because he finds it difficult to bring her out for lunch or dinner. They had different diet and sometimes he can’t get her nice vegetarian food in a non-vege restaurant. Because he ate meat, she didn’t want to eat in a vegetarian restaurant. She told me when her husband decided to be vegetarian for her, she started taking egg for her husband. She can’t just expect her husband to make the “sacrifice”. Marriage is all about give and take, isn’t it?

There was another one who asked me “How if your husband asked you to cook non-vege?” Seriously I had no idea. I casually said “As long as he is able to clean and cut the meat, maybe I can cook.” Oh my God! I have no idea how I actually said it. I cannot imagine myself doing it. There was only once in my life I have ever handled meat and it was a nightmare. I was forced by my father to learn how to do it. I will never forget that. Thank God after that, he never forced me again to buy and cook meat.

So with all these flashback, I started to think why can’t vegetarian eat egg? I started to think back why am I not eating egg in the first place. It was because I was told not to eat egg. But why? I don’t have a clear answer. So I started to google and find more information on this. This is when I came across an article about the fertilized and unfertilized egg. I felt a little stupid because I never knew this. A hen can lay egg without actually mating. These eggs are called unfertilized egg. If a hen mate with a rooster, then these eggs are called fertilized egg. If we eat fertilized egg, then yes we are killing a potential chick which will become a chicken. But if we eat unfertilized egg, then we are definitely not killing a chick. Most eggs that being sold in the market are unfertilized egg. I’m yet to find out how true is this (referring to unfertilized eggs in the market).

Basically I just followed what people told me. Vegetarian don’t eat egg so I followed. Finding out this information makes me a little relieved. At least I’m not committing a sin. I was actually having a little guilt in my heart. Because I do consume ‘Roti Canai’ without actually verifying whether it contains egg. Working in hospitality industry, it is really hard to say no to that moist, delicious, black forest cake which tastes really good. And yes it does contain egg. I have tasted delicious vegetarian cake too but unfortunately not everyone can make a tasty cake. Chocolate cake is definitely my weakness.

Yes, you can tell me it is still coming from a chicken. What is the difference of eating a chicken than eating an embryo? It is the same. It was meant to be a chicken somehow. It has animal protein. Ok. So what? It is not going to become a chicken anyway. Then I shouldn’t be taking dairy products which is coming from animal. I should stop drinking milk from cow. Maybe you say in our religion, it is mentioned somewhere in the scripture, we shouldn’t be taking egg. Owhh is it? Are we really following everything mentioned in the religion? I don’t think so. What’s next? Maybe you say because how the hens are treated in the farm. Cows also treated bad. Goats also treated bad. Humans also treated bad. Who is not treated bad? Oppss…diverting from the actual topic. Haha

I know there are a lot of things we can debate on this. On one side we have vegan and another side we have meat lovers. There are so many types of vegetarian. From occasional vegetarian, lacto vegetarian, ovo vegetarian and even there are some vegetarian who do not eat anything that comes from underground like potatoes, carrots, onions, etc. I think we should do and follow what we can in our capacity. I am proud of myself. I am proud of my achievement so far. I think I have saved countless of chicken, fish, seafood, etc in the past 10 years of my journey of being a vegetarian. I am considering to go into vegan but I don’t think I am ready for it yet. Even considering to let go of buying leather product. True vegetarianism is not easy. I can only take step by step. A step which is comfortable for me.

If you are reading my post, take a step back to think. Why are you eating what you eat? Are you eating it because everybody eats it? Is there any small contribution that you can do as a human to help dying animals. If you eat meat every single day, maybe you can try not to eat meat at least one day in a week. It is just a small step. But you could be saving one live, be it a fish, chicken, cow or goat.

He is not the one

You keep asking questions

You are not sure

You feel doubts

He is not the one

He plays hide and seek

You keep wondering

What are his intentions

He is not the one

You feel not safe

You feel not loved

You feel abandoned

He is not the one

You keep waiting

You want him to change

You don’t like his behaviour

He is not the one

He fails to keep promises

He is always late

He goes missing

He is not the one

He uses your money

He uses your belonging

It is you who is helping him

He is not the one

He is not there

When you need help

You think he is busy

He is not the one

You think he is cheating

He has someone else

You never touch his phone

He is not the one

He says one thing

He does something else

Words and actions contradict

He is not the one

You want to leave him

You think he is not right for you

You go crazy because of him

He is not the one

You keep wondering

Maybe he is shy

Maybe time is not right

He is not the one

He never assures you

He never show up

He leaves you guessing

He is not the one

You read his body language

You think he is into you

But he never approach you

He is not the one

He only message you

When he needs you

The rest of the time missing

He is not the one

It is you who messages him

He always reply late

Says he is busy with work

He is not the one

He asks you money

He touches you for pleasure

He goes mad if you don’t give

He is not the one

A man who doesn’t respect you

A man who cheats

A man who never have time for you

He is not the one

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

06.06.2019

Prayers

If there is one thing in the world

That works like magic

That will be prayers

A prayer that is sincere and selfless

 

We can change our circumstances

We get protection from the divine

Like a ray of light above our head

Encloses us from anything evil

 

Prayers make us feel better

We feel as if a burden has been lifted

We surrender our problems to God

Believe that God will solve all

 

Sometimes a sudden help arrives

Someone comes to our rescue

We get saved from disaster

We receive what we are praying for

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

06.06.2019

Genius

There is a genius in us

Sometimes we are not aware

We never try to bring it out

Because we keep comparing with others

Some can sing very well

Some can dance very well

Some can act very well

Some can speak very well

Just because one is weak in studies

Doesn’t mean they are not genius

Maybe they are good in artwork

Maybe they are good in storytelling

We become disheartened

Why can’t I do like her?

Why is he doing better than me?

Why am I the worst of all?

We forget we are comparing

An eagle with a chicken

A fish with a monkey

A scientist with a sculptor

An eagle fly high in the sky

A monkey climbs the tree

A fish swims in the ocean

A sculptor creates beautiful statue

Each one has own strength

Each one can do something naturally

Each one has own weaknesses

Each one can excel in doing what they are supposed to do

Everyone has different skills

If we keep working on our skills

On what we are born to do

We will become a genius

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

06.06.2019

Memories

I can’t help but revisit

I can’t stop but remember

I can’t sleep but rewind

All the memories in my mind

It was a sweet memory

It was a bitter moment

It was terrifying

It was like a dream

The mind loves memory

Aching to go back

How I wish

I can go back to the past

A little smile appears

Sometimes a little tears

The heart feels heavy

Wonder why it happens

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

06.06.2019

Jealousy

There is a feeling of lacking

Somewhere deep in my heart

Something that another has

Why I don’t have it?

 

My heart beating fast

Silently hurting and worrying

As if a beast is hidden

Wanting that thing so badly

 

Secretly wishing bad to happen

Hoping they will fail and fall

Thinking I will be better than them

Slowly I am falling

 

There is a fire

The self is burning

Restless, punching hard

To the wall

 

The self failed to realize

What I have that the other don’t

Which others wished to have

Forgot my hands are full

 

Everybody’s fortune is different

The timing is different

No two person has same blessing

Mine is about to come

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

04.06.2019

Lost

Sometimes you don’t know where you are going

It feels like time is moving slowly

Second by second, beat by beat

Mind seems to be lost in the puddle

 

You close your eyes to relax

Uneasy feeling in your chest

Scary to go down on the road

Not knowing what might appear

 

You start to think of your loved ones

How much you actually love them

How can you leave them

You are not ready

 

You keep trying to find the way

It must be somewhere here

You are reaching your destination soon

Keep going to the end to find it

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

03.06.2019

Not meant to be

Certain things in life

Do not happen the way we want

We can only plan

As much as we want

But the outcome is never ours

 

We can dream so much

Sometimes it feels so real

We can believe it is ours

But before we realize

It is long gone dissappeared

 

Destiny can only look

With a smile on the face

From up high above

My dear loving child

It was never yours

 

No matter how hard

You try to fight

You can never win

Against what is not given

Because it is never meant to be

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

31.05.2019

The Door

Knock, knock, knock

You pull, you push

You turn the knob

Left and right

It is not your door

 

You found a key

Along the journey

You insert the key

You try and try

It is not your door

 

You found more doors

You get excited

Maybe this one

Maybe that one

It is not your door

 

You are tired searching

The door for your key

You feel defeated

You feel ashamed

It is not your door

 

Then you found a door

You look at the key

Without trying one more

You accepted that

It is not your door

 

But you dont know that

You have found it

That this is the key

To open this door

That this is your door

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

30.05.2019

5 Types of Men That I Dislike

I have opened a new Facebook account after few months. Initially I wanted to close it because I was going crazy due to addiction and I wanted to stop wasting my time glued on my phone screen. I had a lot of free time and started to do other activities that I feel are more beneficial. But now the situation is different. I want to keep my mind occupied on something and don’t want it to wander to the past and become needy again.

I wanted to keep my Facebook account public as I wanted to share my writing there and also to let people know the existence of my blog. Within minutes of opening my account, a flood of friend requests started appearing in my notification. Without thinking much, I just accepted most of them. And you know something? Most of them are guys and they started sending private messages to me.

“Hi, how are you?”

“Thank you for accepting my request. I’m XXX. What are you doing?”

“XXX is waving at you.”

“XXX sent a photo.”

“You missed a video chat from XXX.”

*Rolling eyes*

I am definitely not interested to reply any of them because they are just too many and I do not know them. They could be using fake accounts, scammers looking for money or just another guy looking for sex. Maybe genuine guy looking for friendship or love. I don’t know. I started to think about all the different types of guys I have met in my life and decided to write the type that I don’t like. Here are 5 types of guys that I dislike:

1. Married but looking for mistress

Those days men might cheat by saying that they are still single and unmarried. But current reality is that they openly admit that they are married and still flirt with you. They show you the pictures of their family, their wife and kids. But tell you they are lonely and ask you out. Even when you try to keep the conversations friendly and within limit but somehow they try to spice things up. I remember asking one of such guy who approached me in this manner. “What will you do if your wife does the same thing like you do? She flirts and sleeps with other man. Will you accept her?” I’m not surprised to receive his reply “That’s how world is. Women will be women and men will be men!” “Owhh, is it?”

And why would I accept such a man? I don’t get anything from such a man. He will not have time for me. He has to meet me without anybody’s knowledge. I cannot publicly announce yes, this is my guy. I might ended up carrying his child and will have all kinds of problems later on because my child will not have his name on the birth certificate. And why would I destroy another woman’s life? If I’m married, I definitely will not want any women to steal my husband, then why would I do that to another woman? It is definitely not me. I totally dislike a man who is not loyal to his wife and family.

2. A man who boasts that he has so much of money

If a man really has money, I don’t think he wants to boast about it because he wants to keep it for himself. If he keeps telling you that he has this much in his account, he earns this much, he has spent so much for this and that, that will be a huge RED flag for me. Maybe he wants to impress me with his money. Maybe he just wants to bring me to the bedroom. Maybe he is a playboy. Why do you need to tell me that you have so much money? Why do you need to tell me that you have a house here? That you went there for a vacation? Then they tell you that they are only telling you. Nobody knows that they have all these. If you tell this to a gold digger, she/he would start to see stars in the eyes. For me, I dislike a guy who boasts.

3. A man who swears

I really dislike a man who uses foul language to speak. The ‘F’ word, ‘B’ word, etc. It is not something nice that one can listen to, right?

4. A man who is needy and desperate

Sometimes I come across man who likes me but I’m not too much into them. Then they try too hard to impress me. Too much message, too much talking and too much courting. They are moving too fast that I’m unable to cope up with them. To the extent, I have to run away from them and avoid them totally. Sorry guys, I’m just not into you. Love and relationship doesn’t work out if it is just one sided.

5. A man who looks for sexual pleasure only

All men are looking for sex. Whether they are gay or straight, they are looking for sex. Except those who decided to live a celibacy life like monk. Why sex is important? Because humans need to reproduce. This is science. Without sex, one cannot continue his lineage. But what is happening in today’s world? Sex without marriage, unwanted pregnancy, living together, etc is the modern culture. Current generation do not want to carry the responsibility of having a household by doing things in a proper way. So men and women are in a hunt to look for a prey(s). How can I get sexual pleasure without having to invest much?

Just need some money to bring the girl to a fancy restaurant, and look for a private place. If you want to pay, look for hotel/motel nearby or maybe far. You want for free? Just bring to the house or just finish it in the car. Maybe you have to do this just enough time to get her to sleep with you, isn’t it? That’s it. Easy way out. No need to meet the parents, no need to spend for marriage, no need to announce legally that you are taken, no need to carry the responsibility of bringing up a child in case she got pregnant. Done with this one. Ok next! Hunt for the next prey. These type of men (or women) do not care what damage they are causing the person they are leaving. They don’t care if someone were to do the same thing to their siblings or their own kids in the future. They think nothing will happen to their loved one. All they think is that 5 minutes of pleasure. This type of men is the worst type of all. A sex predator.

I came across all these type of men in my life and all I can do for them is just pray. I can’t change them. I can only take precaution to safeguard myself and the people closest to me. I really don’t know with what intention people come to me. But after a while, their true intention is revealed through their actions and words. Let’s pray that we will all be protected from all kinds of evil around us. ๐Ÿ™‚

Day 2 – The Process of Healing

Today I definitely felt better than yesterday. Maybe it is because I slept with a hope that today will be a good day. It was a relaxing day at work. Everybody seems to be happily working. I gave full attention to my work and went out for an appointment.

The dreaded part of the day is when I’m back home. Because I seemed to be a little free when I’m at home. To avoid thinking, I basically wasted almost an hour in Insta and then I thought I must start to write. I did just that and actually feel a little better. To make myself more occupied, I decided to re-open Facebook account only for the purpose of promoting this blog. I hope to write better. I hope to occupy my time doing something beneficial. Tomorrow will be even better than today. ๐Ÿ™‚

The mind

Our mind is like a little kid

Wanting to explore

Curious to know

Tempted to try

Stubborn when refused

 

In order to control our little kid

We must give toy to play

We must give the attention it seeks

We must give some task to do

Otherwise it starts to scream

 

Take care of our little mind

Like our own baby

Feed it with love and care

Teach it with knowledge and wisdom

So it grow up healthy and happy

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

28.05.2019

A little kindness returned unexpectedly

I was preparing to leave office for an appointment. Knowing that I might not return to the office on that day and since I was going on leave for the next few days, my colleague approached me with a little box in her hand. “Puspha, since I might won’t be seeing you the next few days, why not you be the first person to donate for our upcoming CSR program. We are inviting orphans to celebrate Raya with us.”

“Oh…” Immediately I grabbed my bag looking for my pouch. I saw RM10 note, without thinking much, grabbed it and handed it over to my colleague. She said thank you and left with a smile. I continued my work.

After few days…

I was checking the balance money I had with me. I realized very soon I will be out of cash and there is still like a week before salary day. I was soon worried. Oh my God. I don’t think I will have enough cash until salary day. What am I supposed to do? I checked my calendar. When did I submit claim? It was just a few days back. It is impossible for me to get that claim now. Normally it takes more than 2 weeks.

Then, I received a text message from my sister. “I have transferred cash to you. Please check.” I was surprised. “Why did you transfer so early? Normally you only transfer in the beginning of the month.” She replied “I was transferring to another account just now. Just thought to transfer early. Otherwise you will keep bug me why I haven’t transfer.” I was relieved. I told her to send early like this next time as well. ๐Ÿ™‚

Wow! How did that happened? My problem is now solved without much hassle. Then my financial controller surprised me. “Puspha, your cheque is here. I brought it yesterday. You can go and collect it!” I was even more surprised. “That was fast! Thank you!” Smiling, I went to finance department to collect my cheque.

My mind was thinking. I thought is it because I donated? Help came on time! I didn’t have to look for help. I am a person who is a little bit stingy sometimes. If I don’t have enough, I don’t give. Even if I give, I will hesitate and might not genuinely give. But the donation I made was sincere. I did not think. “Will I have enough for myself?” I just gave it away and now it came back in unexpected way. I was grateful.

This experience made me feel like I should donate more. I always have this doubt that there are people who cheat out there. They are not genuinely looking for help. They are just looking for money. But who am I to decide or judge on that? How do I know if the money really goes to the needy? Why am I not just doing my part and let God handle it? If they cheat, they will get return of it. Why do I even bother? I will get return of my good deeds, I will get return for my good intention. I thought that I want to donate sincerely to people without any hesitation in future. People say if you give, you get more in return. Maybe it is true. ๐Ÿ™‚

Tomorrow is a new day

I hope to wake up with a new hope. I hope to start a new life. I want to leave all the negative things and bury it deeply. I want to bring only good memories tomorrow. I still want to believe there are good things around. Let me be the first to be that good person.

Let me be the person with good heart. People can do any bad things to my body but they can’t change my soul. They can’t change my heart. I am a good person. I want to look at people and see their good nature. Everyday is a lesson. I am constantly learning new things. I cannot let fear to overpower myself. I shouldn’t get disheartened by just looking at one bad apple.

This is the only life I have. Every second that is passing by bringing me closer to my last moment. I want to be happy and live a good life. I do not want to waste my life worrying and thinking about the bad chapters. It is gone. Over. Move on. Get ready for new challenges. I am strong. I can do this. Tomorrow is a brand new day. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hatred

You feel like you are seeking justice

You look for opportunity to seek revenge

You want to see the other person to suffer

You want to throw the fire to burn

Not realizing it is your hand get burnt first

 

Your health gets affected

Your mind gets affected

Your relationship gets affected

Your future gets affected

All because of hatred

 

Keep hatred away from your heart

Hatred doesn’t bring any good

Keep praying for good things

Life will change for better

God is there to help you

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

27.05.2019

Self Control

Fight the urge to text him

Fight the pain you feel in your heart

Fight the thoughts about the past

Fight the feelings you are feeling

You can control it, My Love

 

Your fingers will stop typing

Your eyes will stop looking

Your legs will stop going

Your heart will stop aching

Because he is not worthy, My Love

 

Keep walking with your chin high

Look far into the future

Better things are coming soon

Trust the process you are going through

God is there for you, My Love

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

27.05.2019

Day 1 – The Process of Healing

I woke up this morning. Eyes still closed. My mind was browsing past memories. How did all these happened? I felt pain in my heart. Time is ticking. I couldn’t wake up. Felt like no energy to go to work.

My second alarm goes off. I forced myself to get up and bathed. Got ready and by 7.30am, I’m ready to leave my house. I did not turn on any songs today nor listen to some motivational talks. Quietly I drove trying to empty my mind. At work, I tried to give full concentration even though I was feeling a little sleepy.

Things was fine. I was caught up with work. Calls coming in, talking to colleagues, moving around from office to office. I told myself I have to keep myself busy. I started to feel more pressure when I’m back home. I ate. I watched my parent’s favourite Tamil drama on TV. Trying to divert my mind. Then I started to look at my phone. I reread my last text messages. I kinda cursed him. For what he had done to me. I thought to myself “how can he do this to me? Knowing my character so well.” Sigh.

I thought to myself maybe I can convince him to change. Maybe he is good at his heart. Maybe situation changed him. Maybe he has hormone problems. Maybe there is a way to change all these. I took my phone, wanting to text him badly. Then I paused.

“You can only change if you yourself wish to change. Others cannot change you. It has to come from within.” I will be wasting my time. I am taking more risk if I go back to this person. Because he is sick in his mind. He is unable to control his senses. “Don’t take a risk, Puspha!” I thought to myself.

I felt that I have to keep my time occupied. With something beneficial. I do not want to go back to this person. I am actually scared after knowing the type of person I had been spending my time with. “Psycho”. I thought that this guy can actually be a psycho. A smart psycho. With brain. He is very calm most of the time. It’s like he plans it well.

Some of the story that he told me I felt that he actually twisted it. To show him as a good person and the other one as bad. I thought if I can just meet one person in his story and find out the truth, then I will know for sure. But then what is the point. There is no law that states one can be punished for cheating a person by faking love. There is no punishment for emotional damage. There is nothing much I can do. I have to forget him. I have to break the habit of needing to text him. I have to be strong. I have to be strong.

The Pantry

This is a short story. I wrote this long time ago but never posted. I wanted to write chapter by chapter. I have never written a story. Do read and let me know your thoughts. I will continue to write this story from time to time. ๐Ÿ™‚

Day One

Sharp at 9am, Ivanka already being seated near the registration counter waiting to be called. Feeling quite excited and nervous at the same time, the feet seems to be tirelessly tapping on the floor. Wearing light make up with a bright red lipstick, matching with a red blouse and a skirt with side cut. Ivanka has dark smooth wavy hair, curly eyelashes, cute dimples on both cheeks, has an average height, amazing curve. Number of heads turned to look at her, wondering with the unfamiliar face. She tried to smile awkwardly.

‘Ivanka’

‘Please come inside. Mr Jay is waiting for you!’ ordered a lady in black attire.

A gloomy feeling overshadowed Ivanka for a moment. ‘Why so serious? Someone died today?’ She taught to herself.

Entering the room, Mr Jay is sitting talking with someone on the phone.

‘Ok, just get it done today. Submit the report to me by 5pm. Ok…..Ok…Sure, talk to you later, bye.’

Ivanka gazed to look around the room. The room is looking neat and organized.

Smiling, Mr Jay extended his hand for a handshake.

‘Good morning, Ivanka.’

‘Good morning, Sir.’

Mr Jay is a good looking man in his late 30’s. Black curly hair, 6″5′, with tummy he always try to hide. Married with two kids.

‘Today, Giselle will help you to show you around the office. She will delegate the task to you,’ said Mr Jay pointing to the lady in black. ‘I’m screwed!’ Ivanka cleared her throat and smile fakely to Giselle.

‘You can pass your photocopied documents to Giselle. Today will be a relaxed day for you since it is day one. Just chill and learn as much as you can. Any problem you can always refer to me. Okay?’ Ivanka nodded with her sweet smile.

‘Welcome to Gogorda Incorporation!’

*****

The office is busy with everyone talking on the phone, trying to close the deal and get an appointment. At some corner, phones are ringing.

‘I can’t believe she just hang on me! Rude customer!’ Jacky blurted angry while putting down the phone.

Kesha smiling to herself while looking secretly at Jacky cursing the customer.

‘As usual Jacky. Just move on to the next. Not everybody is nice.’

*to be continued*

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

Does Soulmate Really Exists?

Yes. I believe soulmate really exists. I have seen couples who are so much in love and their face actually look alike. They respect and understand each other. They are able to tolerate and fix any problems that comes in their relationship. They are able to live together until the end. However, there are not many soulmates that exist in this world.

I have been searching for my soulmate. But now I think I don’t have soulmate. I’m falling into traps thinking that this is the one but at the end of the day, it is not. Finding for soulmate is a very exhausting and draining process. Feels like there is no one on this earth who can understand me. If there is one who claims they can understand me, actually they are just faking it. They just made me to believe that they are the one by showing their fake self. When the truth emerges, I am disappointed.

I think there is no point in finding soulmates. They just don’t exist for most people. Most people are just in relationship or marriage just for the sake of it. Maybe I’m just too tired waiting to find the One. ๐Ÿ™‚

Source of Image : Google

Letting go

When you love something, you would want it to be with you. It can be things, people, position, pet, power, etc. As much it feels good to have something we love, that much it hurts when we no longer have it. It hurts when we lose it.

Sometimes we can do something to keep it. Maybe we try to fight over it, manipulate, beg, create rumors, or do whatever it takes to keep it. But sometimes no matter what we do, we cannot keep the things that we love. Yes, it hurts so much! Going through the pain of losing is like hell.

But how long can we hold on it? The time will come when we have to let it go. It hurts to let go but it hurts more if we keep holding on it. For the sake of our own well being, we have to learn to let go. But how to let go?

I believe the time is the best healer. Give time some time to heal us. Try to change the place we are staying or working. Sometimes new environment can help to heal us. Occupy our time fully by being busy. People say an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. We tend to think a lot about the things that we love. Since we are trying to forget it, we have to keep our attention on some other things.

Ignored

I think of you all the time

Wondering what you are doing

In the name of care

I send text messages

Only to be ignored

 

I look at the time

Thinking you might be busy

Maybe driving, maybe working

Maybe out with friends

Time passes with blue tick

 

Every hour I look at my phone

Eagerly to see a response

But there is nothing

I ask again why no reply

Busy working is your reply

 

I wonder why so busy

Is there no break for lunch

Don’t you have time to sleep

I wonder if you ever love me

Because all I see is blue tick

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

26.05.2019

Dream Big

I am a dreamer

I dream for good life

I dream for good food

I dream for good family

I dream for good health

 

I am a dreamer

I dream to live rich

I dream to travel the world

I dream to live in mansion

I dream to drive Benz

 

I am a dreamer

I dream to be successful

I dream to bring positivity

I dream to be featured

I dream to be known

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

26.05.2019

Trust

I believed you will protect me

I believed you will love me

I believed you will care about me

I believed every word you say

And you just crushed my belief

 

I believed you will come

I believed you were really busy

I believed your story

I believed everything you say

And you just proved me wrong

 

I believed you are a good person

I believed you have good heart

I believed you are from good family

I believed you will be good husband

And you just destroyed my heart

 

I believed I was going insane

I believed I was at fault

I believed something is wrong with me

I believed I have to change

And my trust slowly gone

 

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

26.05.2019

The type of person I would love to date

I know Law of Attraction is very powerful. I will get what I think. Well, I have put out some thoughts into the universe and I guess the universe has been responding to me in some manners. The universe has been showing me some type of men for me to select. From tall and handsome man; short and fair man; dark and ugly man; single men; married man to old men. Unfortunately, I am still unable to manifest my perfect true lover. I think the reason for this is I’m unable to focus my thoughts into one direction that is I want to be married and settle down and have a fantastic married life.

For some weird reasons, I have fear that I might be making huge mistake by marrying a wrong person. That I don’t know if this is the right person that I should be pursuing my relationship with or marry and spend the rest of the life with. I always have this confusion in my head. Should I be married or be single for life? I am terrified to live alone because there are bad men out there. I am also terrified to be married to bad man just like my ex whom I found out is a weirdo who thinks only about group sex.

Now how do I manifest the right person into my life? When I keep having this fear in my heart that I’m choosing the wrong one? I know writing is a powerful tool to manifest your desire. So I’m going to list down the character of my perfect partner and wish to manifest this person into my life.

1. Loving and caring towards family

The best person I can quote in this is none other than Barack Obama, the former President of United States. I just love how he treats his wife and children. The kind of affection he shows. Goshh…I would love to date and marry someone who have such character.

2. A true gentleman

I would love someone who knows how to be gentleman like helping to carry stuff for your wife or girlfriend. Someone who will hold the door open for me. Someone who knows to treat me like a queen. Who doesn’t love to be pampered, right?

3. Loyal and monogamous

I definitely prefer a guy who is loyal to me, who don’t flirt with other girls behind my back. Who wants me to be loyal to him alone. He should not even have a thought of sharing me with another person.

4. Wealthy

I wish to be dating a man who knows how to earn for the family in a good way of course. Who is able to provide for the family. I don’t want to be worrying about a place to stay, to eat, etc.

5. Nature loving person

I wish I have someone with whom I can go and explore nature. Go on long vacation and discover places around the world.

6. Honest

Honesty is very important to me. Never ever lie to me.

7. Able to spend time with me

What is the point of being in relationship or marriage if your partner don’t have time for you? Who don’t bring you out? Who always working non-stop and find excuses? Goshh please keep these kind of men out of my radar. I believe life is about balance. What is the point of working too much but don’t enjoy yourself?

8. A spiritual person

I want someone who choose to be close to God. Who imbibes good virtues and avoid bad stuff. I know everyone have their own weakness but don’t let your weakness to overpower you. I want someone who chooses to fight against their own evil desires.

So these are character of a person that I wish to manifest into my life. I am putting out this order into the catalogue of the universe and I definitely know the universe will bring this person to me. I will share a picture with my partner once my desire is manifested. If you are reading my blog, thank you for your time and please pray for me that I get a good person as my partner. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Source of Image : Google

I thought I don’t follow crowd

I’m very much influenced

By the terms of the society

Who makes all these rules

How if I don’t want to follow rules

I want to make my own rules

Assuming this is the way to live

How if half way I have lost the way

Forgotten how to live

Everything around me is an illusion

Everybody seems perfect

Some learn to hide their pain

Pain and happiness is the way

Nothing is permanent

Life is as much as you can feel happy

In the process of finding happiness

Don’t abuse the self and others

You will be answerable for it

Life has millions of possibilities

You decide how to live

And face the results of it

Follow your intuition

You are not crazy for thinking

Sometimes you can’t explain things

Nobody knows what is happiness

It is short lived

Tomorrow is never guaranteed

Written by : Puspha Jeyapergasam

17.05.2020